Birds In Spaaa-aaaa-aaace

Yes I was an Angry Birds snob for the longest time, but I’m not one who is set in my ways. A year or so after the debut and hype of the game, I finally played the version on Chrome. I got the appeal and addiction; once I made it through rehab… I happened across “Seasons”. I figured one little try wouldn’t hurt- now my addiction is in full swing again.

I am near the end of Seasons 2011 and I was about to get my self stoked for the current year when I stumbled upon “Ice Bird”.

The bird turns concrete into ice, thus (probably) allowing the blue birds to swoop down and BREAK THEM ALL!!!!!!

I love the birds. I’m currently writing a song about my awesome love for them. It goes something like, “I love angry birds, and they’re not really angry… but they make me angry… and in my masochistic way… I liiiiiiiiiiike that! Oooooh angry birds, you make me happily angry and I LOOOVE… OOOOOOOOOVE you.”

 Of course being the addict I am, I downloaded the Birds in Spaaa-aaaa-aaaa-ce game. Now I’m actively playing two versions and I need to pull up old FB photos to remember what my loved ones look like. As for the cats, I think they’ve pretty much started their own ‘Lord of the Flies’ (from what I’ve glanced at it’s quite interesting).

The Birds in Spaaa-aaaaa-aaace terrain is incredible! It’s topsy turvy wacky bliss. I’m going to write another song later tonight about it.

Current Mood: chipper

Current Mood: Silly

Rather than being alert and writing my own list of things I hate about RPG, the following video has done a nice job of condensing it for me and I can go back to actually DOING something.

Agree or disagree, but if you disagree, do it on your own site. ~Okay, just kidding, I’m always up for a good debate, but I’m getting tired of the snarky RPG player’s snarkiness. Damned snarkitude. There is also a chance I am soured on the genre because most of the games developers would send me for review were RPG games that seemed to be identical to the one I had just completed for review. There was a time when I just wanted to copy/paste a review on a different title from a different developer and just call it good. I’m still on RPG burn out.

I am an action/adventure gamer. I like going in full on, assessing the situation, solving the problems, leaving behind some corpses and moving on somewhat swiftly. Give me God of War, give me Arkham Asylum, give me Tomb Raider, and Prototype, and some Halo (not 3), Spider-Man etc. Call me a simpleton if you must, but it’s fast, fun, frustrating and freaking fantastic.

The title I’m popping in tonight is ‘Saw’- I’ve read mixed reviews and soon I’ll be able to give my own. I play so that you possibly don’t have to.

Current Mood: bored

I realize this game came out over half a year ago and the majority of gamers out there got the chance to play and beat it eons ago. Some of us took a little longer to jump on the new generation console, but praise for this game is still deserved.

I have to say though that the last 25% of the game began to go downhill [only slightly]. The game play that made this a phenomenal game were replaced by repetitive fighting scenes. Give me puzzles! Give me chances to be stealth and use my intellect to figure out how to get the bad guys while hiding in the shadows and using my awesome toys!

Over-all score: 9.4 Replayability? Hell yes.

I made it through the Control Room, the Pressure Control Junction and now I’m stuck with a maniac mutant Titan, a horde of henchmen and I can’t seem to fight my way out!

I FINALLY got the Titan down to the last sliver of his health and only ONE henchman left- and then died. Again I died. I always die! Five times I’ve attempted to make it through [including spraying explosive gel before he bursts through the door and setting it off when the first round of henchman made it through]. NOW I’m going to have to start ALL over again and my patience is tried, my nerves are shot and I’m ready to throw in the towel for the night.

Earlier in the day I felt the frustration of the Croc’s Lair and after the pattern registered, I finally made it through after several failed attempts. Will I be able to muster through this annoying section as well? Will this game doom me? Is this not the best superhero video game EVER?

If you’ve made it through and you’ve got some helpful tips for beating this area, please share the love [and don't say, "Don't get hit"]

I believe the hardest is yet to come and I don’t know if I can make it! If the fights weren’t bad enough, I’ve had to deal with the fear inducing mind f’cks from Scarecrow, puzzles, riddles, deadly plants and electrified floors.

ACK!

UPDATE:  Turn on ‘Bodies’ by Drowning Pool and you have it beaten before the song is over. Seriously, it was a breeze.

Current Mood: UPSET!!!

This is not the game you are looking for

I’m not very fond of these two day weekends. The winter holidays spoiled me with 3 day weekends along with my sons school enabling the lengthy time spent away from the grindstone. The downside of the latter is that I use up all my PTO, but the additional day of sanity is worth it. — I just hope we don’t get sick!

Yesterday was spent impatiently fidgeting on the sofa sounding child like as I asked my son, “Can I play Batman Arkham Asylum yet?”
“No– be patient”
“But I am patient!”
“You aren’t.”
“That’s because I want to plaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!”

During my ‘time out’, I had a chance to think of the next game I wanted to get:

I wound up going to the neighborhood Gamestop to pick up a copy of DOA 4. Since finally getting an Xbox 360, I wanted to find a fun fighting game that would allow me to kick the butt of friends around the area and DOA has proven to be a decent game with fluid movement and breathtaking atmosphere [no- not the DOA girls]. I was so excited to find that it was reduced to the low price of 12.99, picked up, ran home and I practically tore it out of the case when I discovered they put a DOA Xtreme 2 disk instead of DOA 4. For those unfamiliar with the game, the Xtreme versions are when they take the DOA girls, put them in skimpy bikini’s and place them on a beach volley ball court. :-\ No wonder the girl who took my purchase looked at me funny.

Back into the car- I rushed to the store to find out that the person who brought in the game for resale had brought in the wrong disk. DOA 4 did not exist there. I traded it up for a Soul Caliber IV and as the guy was ringing me up, I asked, “Now this isn’t going to be the Soul Caliber bikini version… is it?”
“Noooo- I don’t think they’d make a game with Yoda in a bikini”
“Good, I also think that might be illegal.”
I did bring home the right game, however, due to the visual of Yoda in a bikini I can’t bring myself to play it yet.

Jonathon had more game testing to do [the wonderful part of the new consoles is the ability to download demo games and even some full version games for free]- It was like his birthday all over again, only better… in comparison to this past one at least.

While he was doing that, I logged onto to FSTDT for my daily dose of fundie stupidity. One in particular led me to a religious thread on Gamefaqs [why they have a religious section on Gamefaqs is unknown to me].  I’m flipping through it and I haven’t really been a voyeur in forums for religion in years, especially after I became a non-theist. Previously, although I wasn’t a theist or Christian etc., I did spend my times on forums about Buddhism, Wicca, Paganism and La Vey Satanism. That of course was many many years ago while I was still trying to educate myself on the various religions- why people believed certain ways and in a way I was still deprogramming myself from the cult like upbringing I had from being raised “non-denominational” evangelical raptard Christian.

Back to the story at hand… [sorry for trailing off]. I came across a thread inquiring if any Christians believed in evolution. Most non-f*cktard Christians actually do believe their deity did have a hand in evolution and see the evidence towards that theory and their idea of a creator do go hand in hand. On this particular thread it was created by a YEC [Young Earth Creationist] and they ignorantly bashed the concept of evolution at every turn, sounding like a complete idiot towards every atheist, agnostic, Christian and possibly other [I assume some people were probably Hindu and Buddhist as well, but it wasn't stated].

Example of stupidity from the original poster:
Calling atheism a religion. Fact: Atheism is as much as a religion as not collecting stamps is a hobby. An atheist is quite simply one who does not believe in a god, any god.  He kept insisting that ALL atheists followed a dogma, that we all believed the same thing, that we’re a ‘type’– and many people constantly tried to correct, “The ONLY thing that atheists have in common is their LACK OF BELIEF in a deity.” Period.

Page after page I read feeling mesmerized by the ignorance and watching as it went from him discussing evolution to attacking atheism, going off topic even after everyone tried to get him to stay the course. He’d scoff at the debaters ‘lack of evidence’ despite them giving examples and sources. His stupidity became hypnotic.

One of the things that had me shaking my head and almost drawing a comic for was this:

The moron’s argument was that the book he’s citing is 2000 years old!! It has to be true!!! It’s two freaking thousand years old!!! [let's forget about all the lost literature due to burnings and destruction of civilizations over the course of those 2000 years-- What? They didn't run it through a printing press and make copies? Sucks to be them!

So after he's laughing at everyone for not believing in a TWO THOUSAND year old fable, he's presented with a poll and other resources dating back about 10 years and dismisses it, "Seriously that's from 1997- that's outdated!" :-\

It lead to the other clichés:
Moron: "HA HA HA I can't believe you guys believe that something happened out of nothing. You guys are idiots!" [paraphrasing]
Poster: “Okay then, who created the creator?”
Moron: “I can’t believe how stupid you are. No one created the creator. It’s too complex for us to understand.”
Poster: “So basically he just happened out of nothing… and you just believe that.”
Moron: “Well yeah.. the bible is 2000 YEARS OLD and it says so right in there!”

After that I finally got to play the game for about an hour, then I watched horrified as I stumbled across “Toddlers and Tiaras aka Strippers in Training” and then finished off my evening on Netflix with Penn and Tellers “Bull Shit”.

Bull Shit is full of profanity and gratuitous nudity- which I’m not a big fan of either, and although most of the things he was debunking, I already knew– it’s a decent watch. I think the only episode I saw that seemed sloppy and poorly executed was the one from Season 6 about ‘The Good Old Days”.

So that’s my weekend up until now. Currently I’m sitting on the sofa, fidgeting and asking Jonathon, “When can I play?”
“Be patient.”
“I am being patient!”
“Then stop asking…”
“But I want to play noooooooooooooooow!”

In a desperate attempt to get past the level I resorted to looking up cheat codes. I know,  I know– cheat codes are bad [but sometimes necessary]. In various areas I read and tried to apply multiple codes to no avail. None tested obviously and it was apparent they were randomly thrown into the cheat section without credibility.

FINALLY I saw a question in the cheat code forum that matched mine “Is there a cheat for not losing health?” and the answer was a straight forward: “Yeah, don’t get hit.”

Brilliant :-\ So brilliant in fact that I decided to post it for others who are in the same desperate state that I’m in.

Needless to say I tried the tip and I’m now playing “Juiced 2: Hot Import Nights”.

Current Mood: Amused

Today I noticed my odd ‘vulgarities’ after I finished cleaning the floor with a ton of gun toting aliens and I looked over at my son who was staring at me wide eyed and then he started cracking up. What had him cracking up?

My foul language that spilled out with each hit, punch, kick, me jumping up and down trying to get past the barricade of extraterrestrial assassins.

Here are a few of the more colorful ones that I caught myself screaming for the love of the game.

1. Eat this you turtleneck wearing banshee bashing son of a creepy crawling egg toting thunder thigh!!! GAAAAAAAAH!

2. DIE you slimy snake sniffing jack rabbit bunder head!

3. Oooh so you think you can take me you no good lizard looking squishy cow tipping rednecking …MONSTER FACE!

You get the picture. When you’re playing an intense video and you have to ‘watch the language’, what words do you use to substitute for “DIE YOU GODDAMNED SON OF A F*CKING *S*LICKING A*SH*LE!”

Photo found on Google Images

This latest was inspired while waiting for a game to load. I bought Jonathon MBL Power Pro’s 2008- And while I’m not a huge Baseball fan or a fan of any sports… I was reluctant in playing but I *promised* I would give it a shot on Sunday. I met the challenge with some scowling and muttering under my breath because for the first few innings I SUCKED- then all of a sudden something clicked and I got it!

Current Mood: Silly

Anyway, I was surfing around on my laptop that is fixed, INCLUDING the keyboard, and I saw on an RSS page that someone in Beijing has opened a WoW restaurant. Huh? I haven’t played the game but …really? There’s a need for it? People will eat there? There’s nothing in the game that might put off someone’s appetite say like… carnage and poor hygienic habits that I picture most players to… Oh come on, the South Park homage to the game is still playing fresh in my mind:

The restaurant actually does look pretty cool and although the cuisine isn’t something I’d imagine in the game (I picture mead and slabs of raw meat) it doesn’t look horrible.

Should one not be CLEAR ACROSS THE FREAKING WORLD, I’d actually go to it. Let’s just hope this trend doesn’t catch on, I’d hate to a chain of GTA restaurants. I mean I don’t want to be off’ed or anything in the middle of my meal or get b*tch slapped by the wait staff.

Photos from CCTV

Watch the CCTV Video Coverage