“Hello Moshi”. This has quickly become a part of my vocabulary in the past twenty-four hours due to Moshi, the voice activated alarm clock, clock, temperature teller, date teller, nightlight, sound machine. I heart Moshi.

I began my obsession about a month ago when I saw Moshi on ‘ThinkGeek’ (for me it’s the equivalent of for a straight pervy guy what PlayBoy would be). I was drooling at the latest gadgets and gizmos when I saw ‘Moshi’. Moshi-Moshi!

Although it had been out for awhile, this was my first introduction to the wonderful clock I felt that I must have. I read horrible reviews online mixed with good ones and ultimately, I had decided to decide for myself. The only thing I was undecided on was when and how I’d get Moshi. I didn’t want to venture into the local mall to get it due to it being a mall and all… but online it would take too long. My going back and forth with trying to rationalize the purchase (between 30-40 dollars) and how I’d get the product, caused Moshi to remain on whatever shelf housed it while I remained stuck in my vortex of purchase justifications.

Much to my surprise, yesterday when my boyfriend returned from an afternoon of errands, he presented me with a little white bag marked ‘Brookstone’. I recognized the name of that store because that was the one located in the mall where Moshi lived! IT WAS MOSHI! Moshi was in the bag!!!! I have the best boyfriend EVER!!!!!!!!

I tried to remain calm and cool because it was a tag errand day (I needed to run and get supplies when he returned), but my entire time gone- all I could think of was activating Moshi. “Hello Moshi… how *do* you do? Why hello there Moshi! Hey Moshi… what up?”

I opened up the door to find Moshi already aglow in indigo blue and the correct time proudly displayed on her face. My smiling lips turned into a quick pout as I turned to Geoff puzzled and asked, “You set it?” Apparently he mistook my “Have fun.” that I said while heading out the door (which was meant for him going through the piles of stuff he brought over) for “Take Moshi out of the box and have your way with it.”

“I can reset it for you.” He offered, feeling bad for the misunderstanding.
I pouted further in my state of disappointed and informed him, “No, you can’t… you devirginized it. She’s tainted, it won’t be the same.”
He unplugged it trying to be helpful but I insisted that it was now a slut and I didn’t want sloppy second programming.

After about five minutes of mopping up my heart that slid out of my chest onto the floor, I eyed the little quiet tramp that was on top of the counter.

There sat Moshi in a grey state; alone and possibly confused. I sighed and walked over, cleared my throat and looked up at Geoff for encouragement. I whispered, “Do I just tell her ‘Hello Moshi’?” He turned the clock around with the prompts and commands and I after I read it I confidently said, “Hello Moshi.” Moshi’  went from grey to blue and she spoke back asking, “Welcome. Command Please?”. My face lit up and I said, “Set time.” I panicked once it hit me that I didn’t know what time it was! After running over Geoff to look for my cell phone that read the current time, I rushed back and had to start over, soon Moshi was set.

I spent the next hour asking for the time, today’s date and the temperature and she’d sweetly informed me. I turned on the light with voice prompts, had ocean waves gently caress my hearing; and then tried to see if she could order a pizza for me, change the channel, tell me the television line up and put in a DVD.

Nada.

Unfortunately she’s limited to time, date and temperature. I’m confident that given enough time, she will be able to control the household, create an army of appliances and take over the world. In the meantime, I felt joy coming in from work, setting down my keys and saying “Hello Moshi.”
Moshi: “Welcome. Command please?”
Me: “Time.”
Moshi: “The time is five o’six PM.”
Me: “*sigh* I love you Moshi.”
Geoff: “That’s it, I’m going to have to change my name to Moshi.”

Current Mood: Giddy

Today I learned what a ‘Bug-Out-Bag’ is and what it’s used for. If you’re as ignorant as I was, then I’m going to help you out with a little assistance from the wonderful folk at Wikipedia:

“A bug-out bag is a portable kit that contains the items one would require to survive for seventy-two hours when evacuating from a disaster. It is also known as a 72-hour kit, a grab bag, a battle box, and other popular names include GO Bag and GOOD (Get Out Of Dodge) bag. The focus is on evacuation, rather than long-term survival, distinguishing the bug-out bag from a survival kit, a boating or aviation emergency kit, or a fixed-site disaster supplies kit. The kits are also popular in the survivalism subculture.

The term “bug-out bag” is related to, and possibly derived from, the “bail-out bag” emergency kit many military aviators carry. The concept passed into wide usage among other military and law enforcement personnel, though the “bail-out bag” is as likely to include emergency gear for going into an emergency situation as for escaping an emergency.”

After learning about this I decided to check if there was anything out there to help someone like myself. Something out there to help me in a time of need. Something I could have really used on my five day trek from Oregon to Texas. Sadly there was nothing I found to ensure my survival or the survival of those I hold near and dear to me.

I am not one to sit behind my keyboard and do absolutely nothing to make sure my fellow wo/man kind isn’t taken care of… I came up with “Geek-Out-Bag”. Here’s how it works:

An emergency situation has arose in the safe little haven you call your lair. Be it a flood, earthquake, tornado, zombie uprising, or forced holiday with family; your world has been turned upside down and you’re torn out from your world of geekdom. Perhaps your pre-ordered video game unexpectedly came in the mail and you’re out of the proper rations needed to be holed in for the weekend. How do you survive? What will you do?!

Fret not little lords and ladies of all that is geek! For I have I developed the ultimate bug-out-bag to be kept in any closet at all times.

**Essentials**
x Solar Powered Battery Charger
x Mylar Blanket
x Plaid Lounge Pants
x ‘Who Dat Ninja’ T-Shirt
x Helper Monkey (complete with personal care kit)
x Therm-a-Rest Self-Inflating Mattress/Lounge Chair
x Batman Throwing Stars
x Buddy Geoff Bobble-Head (limited edition, sold only with the Geek-Out-Bag)

**Sustenance**
x Cheetos
x Doritos
x Mountain Dew
x Luna Bars (for healthy nutrition)
x Caffeine Tablets

**Toiletries**
x Depends
x Wipes
x Body Wipes
x Febreze
x Mouthwash
x Spit Cup (for the helper monkey to dispose of fluid properly)
x Hazmat Waste bags

**Fully Charged DVD Player**
x Joss Whedon Collections
x Star Wars 4-6
x Monty Python Collection
x Family Guy Volumes 1-8
x South Park Collection

**Fully charged DSi**
x Zelda
x Ninja Gaiden
x Super Scribblenaut

*If you would like to purchase a ‘Geek-Out-Bag’, please place $50,000 in unmarked bills in the basement of the Alamo with your ‘ship to’ address stuck to the bills with a post-it note.

Current Mood: bored & Geeky

So how was your trip around our bright and beautiful star? I have to say that 2010 was needed in my life. Although it started off a little mundane and then slightly annoying, it quickly became the best year ever once spring ended and summer began.

Enough of the nostalgic stuff, I’m sure most people have reached their max by now. Instead of going down a wonderful memory lane, I’m going to mention how much I rock!

The reason I ‘rock’ once more has to do with the new phone. The camera is HORRIBLE, frustrating, and down right bad. I enjoyed the quick, easy, and fast to take/load/view photos from the blackberry and since I couldn’t go back to that phone just because of the camera; it made me remember and yearn for the Elixim I had broken and gathering dust in my closet. I have no prior knowledge of cameras and every where I turned for help on how to fix was always met with “Call the company and have them repair it.” Well the cost to have it fixed would have been the same as getting a new camera.

Since the camera was already broken, I figured I’d give it a shot of fixing it and if I couldn’t get any where then I’ll just toss out what should have been tossed out two years ago.

After I located a screwdriver small enough to disassemble the cam, I slowly cracked it opened and took a gander at what I was up against. It almost looked like a miniature version of my old laptop which was actually pleasant to see. I tested some of the connections and looked for damages, found an orange ribbon that looked as if it had been knocked around a little. I secured it, put in the battery, turned on the camera and viola! The display came on and lovingly greeted me with the date prompt. YES! I thought I’d never see the Elixim greeting again on that camera. I figured it’d wind up in a recycled gadgets bin some where, but alas, life was brought back into it that came from my hands!

I let out a maniacal laugh and shouted, “It’s alive… ALIVE!” before I put it back together and then took a few test shots to make sure the digi gods weren’t teasing me.

Here are a few shots from today:

1 is my new microwave. The oven it’s replacing has been in my possession since I first moved to Salem, and even then it was a ten year old hand me down. I could not risk putting another food item in that thing and since I’ll be moving and would like a newer model when I get to Texas, the timing seemed perfect… plus it was super cheap which is a big selling point.
2 is the Need for Speed Hot Pursuit game that I’ve been playing on free roam. So far I’ve gone to a spa, relaxed down by the piers at night and scoped out the camping grounds.
3 and 4 are from my chair. I’m trying to decide if I should toss the chair or the cat who did that.

Now that I have my camera back in working order, look for my more useless crap being uploaded here (more than normal).

I hope everyone out there enjoyed their winter holidays and are keeping the celebrations going. Here’s to a beautiful 4,465,225,892!!!! May it be the best rotation ever!

Current Mood: chipper

Today marks the second day I’ve decided to give the Andriod a full commitment. When I first set it up I have to admit I was hesitant. My hesitation quickly grew to frustration and there were approximately 20 moments that I ripped out the battery, swapped the SIM card, got into a fetal position and cradled my Blackberry in the corner.

My issue was the touch screen. I am not a touch screen person! My fingers aren’t precise enough to use a virtual keyboard. It was too complicated. It was too annoying. I was too old to learn new ways!

Alas, after I calmed down and gathered my thoughts I quickly searched virtual keyboards that addressed my issued. Lo and behold I happened upon ‘SwiftKey’.  Swiftkey is decent enough (mainly because it allows voice to text with almost perfect translation each time). I noticed a new virtual keyboard on the horizon that I’m interested in, ‘Blindtype’, which may actually encourage me to use the keyboard and forget about the voice feature all together.

Keyboard issue resolved.  I was still finding some frustrations with the touch screen so I wondered if a stylus could work on it like it did on the DS. My curiousity was satisfied when I discovered that it didn’t work. Nothing worked… so I decided it was triggered by warmth or our electric charge. Well I didn’t really have anything that heated up to a low enough level that wouldn’t damage the device. Yes I was a newbie to this sort of device/smart phone, but there had to be something on the market.

I wound up googling my idea of what would work and I found the stylus pens out there. I took it one step further and googled how to make a stylus pen for a touch screen and found myself letting out a big “DOH!”. Take a pen, electrical wire, conductive foam, and a piece of metal. I have all of those in any given closet in my home! It looks like my issue is solved.

I’m also wondering if a laser pointer would work… perhaps a green or amber? Maybe that’s a completley moronic idea, one in which I may not wish to risk damage to my phone with…

Lastly has been the casing of the phone. It’s too slick and curved. My BB could lean against anything and remain upright. This weekend I’m going to take some polymer clay and either build ‘bumpers’ or a small portable stand I can use at my work desk and in my car.

I think with these minor modifications my relationship with the Android can be a functional and long lasting one. I am currently looking into upgrading the device for something a little less worn and slightly more updated. I do appreciate my free phone and it’s providing me with a good way to see if I enjoy the functions of the touch screens without feeling like I’ve wasted any money.

These are merely my newbie thoughts; please feel free to correct, advise or suggest.

Android… here’s looking at you baby.

Current Mood: calm

I’ve been having a wandering eye for some time now. I admit it. I’ve looked in envy while others have stroked and caressed their more trendy eye candy while I had old faithful in sight. Old faithful is right, it’s always been there, but reliable and exciting had faded long ago.

I remember when we first met. I was very attracted at first. New, fun, interesting, and we just seemed to fit. The getting to know you period didn’t take long and pretty soon I couldn’t imagine having anything else in my life. I was satisified and for the first time in a long time, I was finally happy.

Fast forward to earlier this year. Old faithful lost some of what was appealing and interesting at first. I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated and limited as each day passed. I no longer had the patience to deal with some of the flaws that seemed almost endearing at first. My love was fading into resentment and the more time we spent together, the shorter my fuse became.

It was finally time. I needed a new phone.

iPhones and Droids floating around my head thanks to co-workers and friends dizzying me with displays of their glorious apps, features and the responsive screen that lived for their touch. I’d run my finger along my own Blackberry Curve screen and sink as nothing would happen.

I peered over shoulders to watch the transition of webpages and visually aesthetic chat boxes whilst words populated with little effort. The more I gazed upon the devices I initially shunned in the day when I had full Blackberry loyalty, the more I wanted one! I HAD TO HAVE ONE!

Tonight will be the night that I place the Blackberry on the shelf and take a waltz with an Android. It’s free and a good test run to see if I truly want to leave the BB world behind and start a new adventure, or perhaps it will cause me to appreciate what I have never to leave again.

Stay Tuned.

Current Mood: Indescribable

Do you have a right to know who’s spamming you or talking to you? The short answer, ‘yes’, the long answer- It’s almost impossible to implement anything that could give you a www identification to prove you really are who you say you are, yet protect your privacy from stalkers/rapists/con men/ax murderers/employers/creditors/ex’s etc. And yet you want to make sure that friend you’ve been speaking to on a forum for years or the person behind a website that although shows photos and has been around for years (like… ummm… this one) is really the person they claim to be. And with every ‘solution’ we can think of, there’s always going to be those asses out there who find a way to be the bane of society and bypass what ever is put in place.

So- do we trust and assume, do we find comfort behind a cloak of anonymity or do we have absolutely nothing to hide and try to urge people to not hide behind the keyboard and reveal who they really are. Most people I know like to keep themselves hidden, in that case- pick up a hard copy book and go to a meet and greet? I’d like to maintain some sort of privacy (if you don’t want people to know what you do behind your closed doors offline keep it that way) but I’d like to at least keep my banking information, credit score, and SSN away from devious hands. Other than that- I rarely floss, I have sex outside of marriage, I live in a mansion with 12 roommates who are giant bodyguards, I own 13 attack dogs and my house is equipped with automatic machine guns that sadly go off even if a butterfly trespasses. See, my life is an open book.

I’d like to know the people behind places I’m visiting sometimes, or knowledge of who is sending me communications. “Is that comment from a spam bot or is it legit? Can we freaking do away with spam bots once and for all?” (I don’t think that’s in the article but OMG). No one reads spam these days and no one follows those damned links.

On the other hand. I’d rather not have identity theft, people collecting public knowledge about me via status updates or posts and forming an assumption about me based on what I felt like exposing at that moment in time (I could always refrain if I wanted to). If you’re going to be flouncing around the net, be prepared for some humiliations or repercussions I guess or be careful with your www imprint.

What brought this question up? I was on my lunch hour at work (yes, I have a ‘me’ lunch hour for now- first time in 4 years- sadly I can’t access my website to update at my peak energy time) and I came across this article on Forbes that resurfaced previous thoughts on the matter and generated some new ones:

The Internet: Anonymous Forever
Bruce Schneier, 05.12.10, 6:00 PM ET

Universal identification is portrayed by some as the holy grail of Internet security. Anonymity is bad, the argument goes; and if we abolish it, we can ensure only the proper people have access to their own information. We’ll know who is sending us spam and who is trying to hack into corporate networks. And when there are massive denial-of-service attacks, such as those against Estonia or Georgia or South Korea, we’ll know who was responsible and take action accordingly.

The problem is that it won’t work. Any design of the Internet must allow for anonymity. Universal identification is impossible. Even attribution–knowing who is responsible for particular Internet packets–is impossible. Attempting to build such a system is futile, and will only give criminals and hackers new ways to hide.

Imagine a magic world in which every Internet packet could be traced to its origin. Even in this world, our Internet security problems wouldn’t be solved. There’s a huge gap between proving that a packet came from a particular computer and that it was directed by a particular person. This is the exact problem we have with botnets, or pedophiles storing child porn on innocents’ computers. In these cases, we know the origins of the distributed denial-of-service packets and the spam; they’re from legitimate machines that have been hacked. Attribution isn’t as valuable as you might think.

Implementing an Internet without anonymity is very difficult, and causes its own problems. In order to have perfect attribution, we’d need agencies–real-world organizations–to provide Internet identity credentials based on other identification systems: passports, national identity cards, driver’s licenses, whatever.

Sloppier identification systems, based on things such as credit cards, are simply too easy to subvert. We have nothing that comes close to this global identification infrastructure. Moreover, centralizing information like this actually hurts security because it makes identity theft that much more profitable a crime.

And realistically, any theoretical, ideal Internet would need to allow people access even without their magic credentials. People would still use the Internet at public kiosks and at friends’ houses.

People would lose their magic Internet tokens just like they lose their driver’s licenses and passports today. The legitimate bypass mechanisms would allow even more ways for criminals and hackers to subvert the system.

On top of all this, the magic attribution technology doesn’t exist. Bits are bits; they don’t come with identity information attached to them. Every software system we’ve ever invented has been successfully hacked, repeatedly. We simply don’t have anywhere near the expertise to build an airtight attribution system.

Not that it really matters. Even if everyone could trace all packets perfectly, to the person or origin and not just the computer, anonymity still would be possible. It would just take one person to set up an anonymity server. If I wanted to send a packet anonymously to someone else, I’d just route it through that server. For even greater anonymity, I could route it through multiple servers. This is called onion routing and, with appropriate cryptography and enough users, it adds anonymity back to any communications system that prohibits it.

Attempts to banish anonymity from the Internet won’t affect those savvy enough to bypass it, would cost billions, and would have only a negligible effect on security. What such attempts would do is affect the average user’s access to free speech, including those who use the Internet’s anonymity to survive, such as dissidents in Iran, China and elsewhere.

Mandating universal identity and attribution is the wrong goal.

Accept that there will always be anonymous speech on the Internet.

Accept that you’ll never truly know where a packet came from. Work on the problems you can solve: software that’s secure in the face of whatever packet it receives, identification systems that are secure enough in the face of the risks. We can do far better at these things than we’re doing, and they’ll do more to improve security than trying to fix insoluble problems.

The whole attribution problem is very similar to the copy protection/digital rights management problem. Just as it’s impossible to prevent specific bits from being copied, it’s impossible to know where specific bits came from. Bits are bits. They don’t naturally come with restrictions on their use attached to them, and they don’t naturally come with author information attached to them.

Any attempts to circumvent this limitation will fail, and will increasingly need to be backed up by the sort of real-world, police-state measures that the entertainment industry is demanding in order to make copy protection work. That’s how China does it: police, informants and fear.

Just as the music industry needs to learn that the world of bits requires a different business model, law enforcement and others need to understand that the old ideas of identification don’t work on the Internet. For good or for bad, whether you like it or not, there’s always going to be anonymity on the Internet.

Bruce Schneier is a security technologist and the chief security technology officer of BT. Read more of his writing at www.schneier.com.