I know there are highly intellectual people out there who really need to breed but can’t; and sadly they don’t want to adopt although they could raise the next hope for the world. It’s okay, kids aren’t for everyone and they’re kind of high maintenance with all that feeding, schooling and attention they require.

For those who can but don’t because having a kid sound boring and “responsible”; and let’s face it, between going to work, paying bills and making sure keep up on all the installments of your favorite game title you’re up to your chin in “responsibility”.

Okay, so you’re not for the rearing of kids under the normal guidelines that keep Child Protective Services out of your business; but what if you can raise kids that amuses you and keeps state officials off your back? Well there is! Well… maybe there is. These approaches to raising kids haven’t been actually tested, but they seem harmless enough.

An idea my daughter and I came up with a long time ago to make sure future kids are safe and yet a source of constant amusement for the parent- Put a live aquarium scene outside their window and have realistic ocean/underwater scenes outside of every window starting the day you bring them home from the hospital. Convince them that the world is submerged underwater and if they go outside without a diving suit, they’ll drown.

Any time you have to leave to work, put on a snorkel, and when you return home from work dump a cup of water over your head before you walk in the door. It sounds like a pain, but the internal snicker you’ll do at your child’s ignorance will be worth it.

“Why can’t I get a diving suit?”
“Because unfortunately they only make them in adult sizes to ensure you have the proper training to harpoon sharks and make it to the work dome without incident. In the work dome you work and get the proper groceries needed for survival, but that’s only after a grueling day of gutting fish. Once in awhile on a weekend night I go to the work dome to put in extra hours or I’m called to the work dome for emergencies… be thankful you’re not old enough to be called to the work dome.”

Yes this plan requires home schooling and never being able to purchase dry clean only clothes… but if you think about it, it sounds worth it.

The amusement will continue well into their long adulthood when they start having conversations with their peers about “raised underwater” and how grateful they are for the big water recession that allowed them all to “surface”.

“Uh… Mom, I mentioned the “Great receding of the water to my peers, and they laughed at me.”

Just make sure you’re prepared for the questions that ensue after a lifetime of spinning yarns like most religious parents are.

Another idea was to raise your child as a complete nerd geek. Start them off with non-prescription glasses, give them cloth pocket calculators toys and convince them that stupid jokes are funny and cool. “Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas? A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.” HAHAHAHA!

Teach the alphabet in binary code “01100001 01100010 01100011 01100100 01100101 01100110 01100111 01101000 01101001 01101010 01101011 01101100 01101101 01101110 01101111 01110000 01110001 01110010 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110110 01110111 01111000 01111001 01111010″

Teach them how to spell their name only in hex code “44 61 77 6e” (Dawn).

Give them Dungeons and Dragons stuffed animals, hand sew them toddler Urkle outfits (regardless of gender). Teach them witty retorts, martial arts, how to use a baterang and grapple hook and then unleash them on the world.

Hopefully they won’t get bullied and beaten up, but on the VERY off chance they do, at least you know they know martial arts, they have a baterang and can grapple hook their way out of the situation.

If they’re well accepted in society, then remember to tell them that kissing the opposite gender will make them blind (although I tried that on my daughter and I *thought* I had her convinced until she informed me while in kindergarten “I kissed a boy on the bus and I didn’t go blind!” :/ ).

Here are some other ideas I’ve happened across in making raising child rearing not just a responsibility of creating a functional cog in the mechanisms of society, another being to love and adore, or someone who will change the world and not murder a bunch of people- I feel like having a few more just to try to these out.

David Cross on raising kids:

So uh, I kind of make fun of religion and stuff but seriously though I thought about this that someday I want to… you know, have kids. I’d like to get married. You know I don’t know what my wife’s going to believe in and I and I want to respect her superstitions. So there’s a question, “How would we raise our kids?” But I think I’ve hit upon the perfect solution. I’ve decided that I’m going to raise my kids to be Amish. I could instill that hard working ethic in them and that sense of morals you know, and I’m sure there’ll be some problems.

I’m sure there’ll be occasions where they’ll be like, “Um Daddy how come we never get to watch television or play video games but you always get to watch television and you get to play video games? And you get to have the lights on the in the house and we never do, how come you do?”

 “Well, sweetheart, that’s because Daddy’s not Amish. See, you are, honey, that’s what you believe in, yeah it is. Now come on, be a good boy you’ve gotta go up get upstairs to bed. You know you have to get up early and harvest my breakfast, alright? Okay? Ah…ah I see you peeking… come on now. Honey, get to bed. (shakes head) Oooooh Amish kids…

Jon Benjamin:

From Huff Post… for some reason I can’t get the video code to embed: “Even though a series called the VICE Guide to Parenting (click on the link… it’s funny) seems like a can’t-miss virtual roadmap for child rearing, the most recent episode revealed that Jon Benjamin has been playing a prank on his son… for nine years.

The comedian is known for his practical jokes, but this one takes the cake (although the prank probably isn’t real). Benjamin explains that he’s been speaking to his son exclusively in a British accent since he was a small child, and his son has no idea that his dad isn’t British.

“He likes sports like squash and cricket,” says Judah Benjamin in the video. “And he calls an umbrella a ‘bumbershoot.’”

Benjamin is known to blur the line between reality and scripted comedy. His last show to do this, the funny-but-canceled “Jon Benjamin Has a Van,” can be seen in its entirety on Netflix Instant. He also stars as the voice of the title characters on the animated shows “Archer” and “Bob’s Burgers.”"

See, raising kids doesn’t have to be all work and responsibility. As long as there isn’t deprivation of food, affection, or physical torture- you can submit your chromosomal creation into the world that is slowing dying due to creationists, people who are glued to reality shows and shows like “American Idol”, and Republicans.

You can come up with your own fun way of child raising; the only tricky part is to find a partner who doesn’t have some hidden Southern DNA that can knock the smart right out of your offspring. Seriously, the last thing you want is to walk into your child’s room and find them giving you the “Hook ‘em horns” gesture. If that last scenario does happen despite your best attempts, remember, it’s never too late to put them up for adoption since my law for abortions being allowed up to age 18 has yet to be approved.

Current Mood: Buddha

1. You see your niece/nephew/kid you used to babysit post a nostalgic “Remember When” post that shows all the toys, shows, and songs of the 90′s that were “Sooooooooo long ago”. You feel like punching them.
2. Toys from YOUR childhood now fall into the ‘vintage’ and ‘retro’ category and are worth big bucks.
3. Your “It’s Friday and payday” song and dance are no longer done in anticipation of hanging out with your BFF at the local hot spots; instead it’s in anticipation of sleeping in, slothing, and catching up on bills and grocery shopping.
4. When a TV show refers to a person of 53 as “Sweet old grandpa”, you protest “He’s NOT old!” when you know that ten years ago you wouldn’t arch a brow.
5. You catch yourself thinking that today’s music has no purpose and sounds like trash.
6. It’s creepy when you see people your age get excited to watch shows or films that showcase teenage characters.
7. Your dream of being a rock star isn’t shot because you lack talent… you just prefer being rooted and getting a full nights sleep over stardom.
8. When the sales person asks what kind of shoes you’re looking for, your first response is, “Something comfortable.”
9. When you see a cop you don’t bat an eye and you proceed as normal.
10. Getting carded puts a skip into your step for the rest of the week.

It’s also a sign that you’re getting old when you write a post about signs you’re getting old. My “I wanna rock and roll all niiiiight” has been replaced with “I want pancakes!”. My stiletto heels have been swapped for flowery 2″ opened toed sandals. My stretch mini dress has been replaced  with a flowing sun dress and doing my hair went from taking an hour to taking as long as it takes to sweep back my bangs or putting it in a quick French twist. When asked if I want to do anything that requires leaving my home… my first thought is always ‘traffic’ and if I’ll be home in time to get a full nights sleep.

]]> http://dawnmasuoka.com/2012/05/ten-signs-youre-getting-older/feed/ 0 http://dawnmasuoka.com/2012/05/banes-and-bonuses/ http://dawnmasuoka.com/2012/05/banes-and-bonuses/#comments Thu, 24 May 2012 02:25:35 +0000 Dawn Masuoka http://dawnmasuoka.com/?p=5820 Ironically, shortly after I posted the original “article”, I accidentally deleted my site which caused nearly 18 hours of desperately trying to get my files and site back (granted the majority of that time was spent sleeping and going to work.).

Let me attempt this again. Life tends to give you little breathers that allow the gnats of annoyances to get to you for a split second- Nothing big or traumatic, just small things that can bring forth a sigh or scowl. On the other side of that coin you get the often over looked perks that tickle you pleasantly and adds a smirk or mini “Yee!”.

I’ve decided to come up with my top ten banes (or to put it into perspective, tiny life gnats) and ten bonuses. Feel free to add, agree or disagree (but keep the latter to yourself!). Basically, if you see any of the examples as a true annoyance, smile- it means life is pretty freaking sweet right now.

1. The video game in which the release date was circled on your calendar, your mind was fantasizing about the whooping of the asses you’d do and then choreographing your victory dance finally arrives and you beat it in under 3 hours.
2. After an exasperating day at work you tune into your favorite show and realize that the season finales aired last week.
3. You spent the night tossing and turning and tell yourself “It’s okay, it’s the weekend, I’ll can sleep in.” It hits you ten minutes after your normal ‘wake up’ time that no, it’s not your weekend, it’s only Wednesday.
4. An impromptu visit to an electronics shop has you doing a mental montage of the top of the line gaming PC you bought two years ago; from outrageous purchase price and what you thought at the time was high tech major awesomeness- you hop from tower to tower, tablet to tablet and now you envision your computer as a hideous dinosaur and wonder how the hell you were even able to open up a browser without losing your mind.
5. You FINALLY get a good nights sleep and wake up refreshed and rearing to go. For the first time in ages you are able to leave for work almost half an early! While you are merging onto the highway and anticipating stopping some place to grab some coffee and relax a bit when you get close to work, a major accident has traffic backed up to a standstill and you wind up ten minutes late.
6. You get a chance to catch up on that new show you’ve been interested in seeing all year and get the announcement that it’s being cancelled due to low ratings and yes, it was your fault.
7. The smart phone you purchased almost a year ago stops working and you’re a little happy about it because you were wanting to upgrade any way. After you call support you’re given the bad news that it’s still under warranty and they’ll send you a replacement of the exact same model (sucky for me that the replacement didn’t work either and they told me I could upgrade if the replacement for the replacement didn’t work. The replacement for the replacement worked.)
8. You get a new pair of sandals and break them out at the grocery store to have the first item you pick up leak out and land directly on your foot and new shoes. Perhaps that only happens to me.
9. Facebook reveals that someone you once respected… liked “Spider-Man 3″.
10. Your favorite family member comes out at as Republican.

And now for the bonuses!

1. You wake up after the rare good nights sleep ready for the grueling commute and work day and realize it’s your weekend.
2. The street gods give you all green lights to your destination.
3. You wonder when they’re going to make a sequel to your favorite game and do a Google to see that it’s going to be released next month.
4. When you go to the mirror to style your hair after you wake up in the morning… it already looks perfect. (only happens once every decade at least)
5. You finally purchased a product that’s featured on a top ten list.
6. Someone on FB remembers you from high school as being cool just like you knew you were only up until then no one else but you remembered.
7. The day AFTER you fill up your tank gas goes up .20 cents.
8. Your cat didn’t have time to cough up the hairball on the carpet and instead puked it up on the linoleum.
9. Your favorite show you thought was cancelled was actually on hiatus and you didn’t learn about it until you were channel surfing and saw a brand new episode listed!
10. Your favorite relative comes out as an atheist. (for intellectual reasons, not because they feel jilted by a sky daddy).

Okay, so that’s my list of “banes” and bonuses. My additional annoyances is that my son has added the word “Shoot” to the long list of “offensive” words I am not allowed to use around him along with “Damn cat.” WHO raised that kid?!?!?!?

Current Mood: Buddha

Angry Birds alternative. "Here kitty kitty..."

You’d think with a special needs son who has had dozens of surgeries and procedures that I would be used to doctors, wounds, et al. I thought I would be… I was wrong.

Take Monday. Sick and emotional Monday following a tiff that caused me to be tense and overly emotional when it came time to cook dinner. Add potatoes and a knife and slamming both down in the sink… and my finger/hand getting in the way. Here enters the scream, the flood of tears and flow of blood as the pain revealed what just happened.

I knew the cut was deep, but I’ve been cut before; I’m used to it. The fact that it bled for hours let me know it might be serious; the fact that I was still feeling ill and I had my son to take care of made me play down in my head the seriousness of the injury. The fact that I lost movement in my finger told me I shouldn’t do that.

The next morning after sending my son off to school, Geoff took me to the ER where I sat in pain for several hours waiting to be seen. Ironically, after waiting for so long, once they did see me, I was lectured for not getting in sooner. They said it looked like I cut through a tendon and I needed surgery within 7 -10 days of the injury. Unfortunately since I don’t have insurance, they have to send me to another hospital, which by then it was close to Jonathon getting out of school and they had me stoned out of my mind on Hydrocodone (half does the trick, they gave me two). It wasn’t a good high; it was a sick to my stomach, can’t see straight, gravity fought with my legs kind of high… low. Any way, my day was spent.

They cleaned the wound, wrapped my hand in a splint and gave me instruction to go to another ER in another city first thing the next morning.

The first thing the next morning I went per instructed and oddly found myself in a nicer hospital with more competent staff and a quick being seen time (JPS in Ft. Worth- the lesser  hospital was HEB Texas Health Harris Methodist). They again lectured about waiting so long and then got additionally annoyed with  HEB for sending me away without stitching me up or giving me a tetanus shot.

The better place gave me a shot, aggravated my wound by rubbing numbing solution inside it and giving me stitches, they did a few x-rays before and after wrapping it and said I had cut through a couple tendons. Surgery to have them reattached is next Thursday.

How I do in the whole ordeal? I screamed and wanted to strangle the doctor when I got my wittle finger temporarily mended. My mind kept imagining my tendons sliding down my arm and I kept visualizing the opened wound nearly ever second of the first 72 hours after it happened. I am a big baby.

I am also annoyed that the stupid accident cost me a week of work so far and further struggles in caring for my son. His body and needs don’t care that my hand is injured- I have had to learn to carrying him, change him and feed him with one good limb. I think I pretty much have it mastered.

Secondary things I’m trying to master… using the mouse with my left hand and typing with seven fingers (two on my right and five on the left). My hair is another thing all together, I think I should just chop it all off for now.

Lessons learned other than not starting tiffs when not feeling well and hormones are on over drive… order out.

The other lesson is to not try to gain sympathy from Jonathon. He has gone through way too much to give it. He does tell me to be careful, but then also recounts all his surgeries and surgeries gone awry to make me feel like a wimp about my injury. Thankfully I am reminded about his fits and screaming when he has to go get a shot or even blood work. His operations they  have to keep him sedated for days after just so he doesn’t freak… and for the pain to be much tolerable. Yes he’s a champion and hella tough, but I have to remind him that needles freak him out too and pain is not desired.

So I am writing this to get used to typing and hopefully life will resume as normal (with being a lefty for a couple months).

The tragedy of the situation is the Angry Birds level I’m on (and antibiotics that make me dizzy) for now I can’t seem to aim and target the Space Bird adequately to get three stars. Until I can play properly I’m just going to pretend the cats are green pigs and fling the little Angry Birds at them. The challenge is to get the cats to stay under makeshift shelters made out of wood, concrete, and ice.

The triumph of the situation is that I’m no longer a stitches virgin. The doctor asked me, “Have you ever had stitches before?” I replied honestly, “No, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t need them.” (I avoid going in at almost all cost).

Drama hand

Semi Drama Hand!

Dork n Hand!

I guess it's okay if you're Geraldo...

I’m going to weigh in on Trayvon Martin. What happened to him was a horrible tragedy and injustice. It pains me that the situation can never be rectified. Trayvon cannot come back no matter what happens, but hopefully Tampa will change it’s moronic ‘Stand Your Ground’ law.

Geraldo. Ooooh Geraldo. I remember as a kid I used to like him; looking back I realize I wasn’t a very bright child. In fact I think I was down right socially retarded.

Earlier today at work, I over heard a broadcast where Geraldo blamed the heart wrenching death on wearing a hoodie. He then later changed it to not just blaming the hoodie,

“My own son just wrote to say he’s ashamed of my position re hoodies,” he tweeted. Rivera also told Politico that his son, Gabriel, “broke my heart” and had said that he had “gone viral for all the wrong reasons.”

However, he maintained that Martin’s hoodie was to blame for his death. He deniedthat he was “blaming the victim” and called it “common sense” for minorities to avoid wearing hoodies. He said that he was “reminding minority parents of the risk that comes with being a kid of color in America.”

:/ Really? Dear Geraldo, please… prithee do tell the parents of kids of color what they can wear to avoid being gunned down on the street by gun toting idiots. Are t-shirts okay? I mean I recall seeing people in gangs wearing t-shirts. I guess t-shirts are out. A hoodie though… I suppose the unibomber wore a hoodie, perhaps we should all fear hoodie wearers. Charles Manson wore button down shirts, he was a serial killer- if serial killers wear button down shirts then I guess a kid of color definitely can’t wear something a serial killer would wear… considering most of the serial killers in North America are white and wear the typical ‘whitey’ attire, I guess anything found in the Sears Catalog or Old Navy are out.

Pants? Are pants safe? I mean you have to wear pants, right? But what kind of pants won’t get you shot on your stroll down a public road these days?

The slaying of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin, a Florida high school student who was shot and killed by George Zimmerman, a self-appointed neighborhood watch captain, has captured national attention.
Petitions calling for justice for Martin have exploded, amid allegations of racism and calls for more scrutiny into how local police handled the investigation. George Zimmerman has yet to be charged in the case.
Below is a timeline of events:

Feb. 26: Trayvon Martin, a 17-year-old Florida high school student, is found shot and killed, in Sanford, Fla., a community north of Orlando.

Several eyewitnesses report to police that they heard a scuffle, then a cry for help, and then a gunshot.
According to the Sanford police report, George Zimmerman, 28, a self-appointed neighborhood watch captain, is found armed with a handgun, standing over Martin. He has a bloody nose and a wound in the back of his head.

Martin is unresponsive and pronounced dead at the scene. He has no weapons on him, only a pack of Skittles and a bottle of iced tea.

Zimmerman tells police he killed Martin in self defense. Taking him at his word, police do not arrest him, nor administer a drug or alcohol test. They also did not run a background check.
March 9: Trayvon Martin’s family demands that police release the 911 tapes or make an arrest nearly one month after Martin was killed. Police declined to comment at the time, but told ABC News the tapes would be released the following week.

March 12: ABC News uncovers questionable police conduct in the investigation of the fatal shooting of Martin, including the alleged “correction” of at least one eyewitness’ account.
Sanford Police Chief Billy Lee said there is no evidence to dispute Zimmerman’s assertion that he shot Martin out of self-defense.

March 16: Police recordings made the night Zimmerman allegedly shot and killed Martin sent the boy’s mother screaming from the room and prompted his father to declare, “He killed my son,” a family representative tells ABC News.
ABC News affiliate WFTV publishes excerpts from the 911 calls.
One of several petitions for Zimmerman’s arrest has garnered more than 250,000 signatures on a change.org site, and at one point signatures were pouring in at the rate of 10,000 an hour, according to the website.

March 18: Martin’s family asks Attorney General Eric Holder and the FBI to get involved in the investigation of their son’s death.

March 19: A 16-year-old girl tells Benjamin Crump, the Martin family’s attorney, about the last moments of Martin’s life, ABC News is there exclusively. Martin was on the phone with her when George Zimmerman began following him. She recounted that she told Martin to run, then she heard some pushing, then the line went dead.

The U.S. Justice Department announces it has launched an investigation into Martin’s slaying.
ABC News also learns that Zimmerman violated major principles of the Neighborhood Watch manual, which states, “it should be emphasized to members that they do not possess police powers, and they shall not carry weapons or pursue vehicles.”

The state attorney in Seminole County, Fla., announces that a grand jury will review the evidence of the case on April 10.

March 20: Sanford police department admits to ABC News that investigators missed a possible racist remark by the shooter as he spoke to police dispatchers moments before the killing.

March 21: During a heated meeting over Trayvon Martin’s death, Sanford city commissioners conducted a vote of “no confidence” against embattled Police Chief Billy Lee. Three of five commissioners voted against the chief.

The city manager now decided whether or not to let Lee go.
Martin’s parents join hundreds of protesters in New York City for the “Million Hoodie March,” demanding justice for the slain 17-year-old.

A single online petition calling for Travyvon’s killer’s arrest has nearly 900,000 signatures and is now the fastest growing petition in internet history, according to Change.org. Tweets from celebrities, such as Justin Bieber and Spike Lee, helped fuel wide interest in the case.

The public relations person for Benjamin Crump, the attorney representing the Martin family, tells ABC News they received 418 media calls in one day.

March 22: Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee announces he is temporarily stepping down amid accusations that his department bungled the investigation into the shooting death of Trayvon Martin.

Florida Gov. Rick Scott also announced State Attorney Norman Wolfinger, another key investigator tied to the case, agreed to withdraw and Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll would lead a special new task force to prevent future tragedies.

Martin’s family meets officials from the Department of Justice.

Thousands rallied in Sanford, organized by the Reverend Al Sharpton, to demand Zimmerman’s arrest. Sanford police continue to accept Zimmerman’s claim that the shooting was in self defense.

If you recall, a few years ago Scott Jordan sent me a hoodie due to my drooling over an article I read and then wrote about back on arskgeek http://www.arsgeek.com/2007/08/21/how-to-chill-this-fall-without-being-chilly/, and then decided that I was in love with it http://www.arsgeek.com/2007/08/25/i-received-my-geek-apparel/

http://dawnmasuoka.com/2007/10/dawn5000/ (for fun)

If you should fear any one in a hoodie, fear the woman with a shurikin and a disillusionment that she’s a ninja. This whole killing people based on skin color who happen to be wearing a staple in today’s wardrobe needs to end, it never should have started to begin with.

Wear a hoodie, arrest Zimmerman, change the law. R.I.P. Trayvon, I’m sorry you lived among idiots.

“Million Hoodie March” held in NYC in memory of Trayvon Martin
By Crimesider Staff Topics Daily Blotter
Protesters during the “Million hoodie march” held in New York City, March 21, 2012. (Credit: CBS New York)
(CBS/AP) NEW YORK – A march took place Wednesday evening in Manhattan calling for justice in the case of Trayvon Martin. He was an unarmed black teenager who was shot to death by a neighborhood watch captain in Florida last month.

Photos: Trayvon Martin

In New York, Martin’s parents told demonstrators chanting “we want arrests” that they will keep fighting to get justice for their son. “My son did not deserve to die,” Tracy Martin, Trayvon Martin’s father, said on Wednesday. He immediately thanked the hundreds of people who participated in a march in her son’s memory.

Martin, 17, a high school junior, was unarmed and wearing a hoodie when he was fatally shot. Wednesday’s demonstration in Union Square was dubbed the “Million Hoodie March.” Many participants wore hooded sweatshirts for the march, which was billed as a demonstration to put an end to racial profiling, CBS New York reports.

Martin was killed Feb. 26 in Sanford, Florida. He was returning to a gated community in the city after buying candy at a convenience store when he was shot by neighborhood watch captain George Zimmerman, who has not been charged in the shooting. He has said the teen attacked him and he shot him in self-defense.

The demonstrators greeted the teen’s parents with “God bless you!”

Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin’s mother, told the crowd: “My heart is in pain, but to see the support of all of you really makes a difference.”

“This is not a black and white thing – this is about a right or wrong thing,” Fulton, said.

Tracy Martin said he and his son’s mother found out about the march after arriving in New York City, where they have done interviews about the case. They got in touch with the organizers to say they would attend and speak to the crowd.

The timing of the teen’s parents being in the city when the march was happening was “incredible,” said one of the organizers, Daniel Maree, who heard about the case earlier this week.

“I was outraged and wanted to do something about it,” Maree said.

March 23: Roughly 50 schools in Florida stage walkouts to protest the killing of Trayvon Martin and show support for the change.org petition demanding arrest of George Zimmerman.
The online petition surpassed 1.5 million signatures, making it all time fastest growing petition in change.org’s history, according to change.org.
At a White House press conference, President Obama takes time to address the Trayvon Martin case, saying, If I had a son he’d look like Trayvon.”

“Hoodies on the Hill,” a group of Capitol Hill staffers, also rally in support of Martin.
Fox News contributor Geraldo Rivera adds to the controversy, igniting a firestorm of criticism when he seemed to indicate that Trayvon Martin’s apparel was to blame for the shooting.
A second “Million Hoodie March” is scheduled to take place in Philadelphia tonight. -3.22.12

Current Mood: Cynical

Monday was stormy, temperamental and nearly flooded this part of the state. It threw a symphony of lightning and thunder my way causing a disturbed evening and sleep. Normally I’m all for the coolness of a storm, but the Texas type of storms are mean and unrelenting… well, until they relent and go away.

Guess what Tuesday did? It spilled my entire keg of coffee all over the passenger side floor AND my poor arm That keg holds 12 cups of steaming fresh coffee, so when it flew forward and I stupidly caught it after slamming on breaks to avoid being hit; the fresh coffee was scalding! The storm was finishing off most of Tuesday morning and by the time I came home from work, I needed to kick someone in the shin.

Wednesday wasn’t much better. I spent a good portion of my evening watching ‘The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo’ (Män som hatar kvinnor) and wished I read the book instead. It was too long, the characters were bland and I’m not even sure I care to continue to see what happens. I originally started the Swedish version about half a year ago and only a little ways in the boredom caused me to wait for the English version. Nearly three hours of my life I could have spent playing Angry Birds. I still gave the movie three out of 5 stars, albeit reluctantly.

Thursday, oh you stupid hideous day. Actually Thursday wasn’t awful. The only downside was finally getting to the last disc of 3rd Rock From the Sun (Season 5) to find out that the place we rented it from didn’t check to see that it actually had disc 4 from season 4. As it was Netflix removed it from ‘Watch Now’ and season 5 has been in the ‘short’ wait status for a long time. We called nearly every video store in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area to find only The Movie Trading Company had it available. Now I know you’re probably shocked that there are still video stores up and running; believe me, there are and it makes me soooooooo very happy

Now it’s Friday and my evening agenda is going to be mindless and relaxing. Please don’t let me down or I’ll crown Saturday as my favorite day. I seriously do LOVE Saturday, but it doesn’t quite give me the wonderful feeling I typically get when quitting time comes around and I’m driving home in anticipation of a 2 day weekend.

I put 3rd Rock back in my Netflix queue and I can see it’s still a “short wait”. Netflix is increasingly coming close to being on my bad list alongside George Lucas and Stephen King. Protect your shins Netflix… or rather, “Please don’t.”

Current Mood: Buddha

Yesterday I spent my waking hours yearning for my time back, feeling a little bit off and irked that the work week was an hour closer. I don’t get to sleep in! Some how my sons internal clock quickly adapts to the change as if he has some chip attached to the www and tried to get me up to speed.

The adjustment period for me lasts a few days. Take this morning for example- my stupid eyes didn’t get heavy until about one thirty in the morning. I get up, business as usual. My morning business is fixing a keg of coffee to take on my commute and get me through the day after getting my son dressed and fed, and then myself dressed and mentally ready for the hellish highway.

This morning I forgot my coffee. My needed coffee. The liquid that I REQUIRE! After I drove to the city I work in, I pulled into the nearest gas station store to get myself some caffeine. I saw the giant vats of coffee, but only tiny little stupid puny coffee cups sitting around it. That size cup wouldn’t even get me around the block let alone 8 hours. When I asked if they had any travel mugs they looked at me as if I asked where they keep the holy grail. “Traveeeel mugs? Oh no! We don’t have that here!” It was a Shell station that sat right at an on ramp! How could they not have travel mugs??? People stop by a gas station near an on ramp to fuel up in order to… TRAVEL!

I settled on a 44 oz of an awful calibration cup of a diet fountain soda and two energy shots (to be taken through the day). While my energy level was on par, my routine was not. My mouth and body knew it was being deprived coffee and it did not take too kindly to it.

I wanted my coffee and I wanted my hour.

I sat working all day, listening to stories play in the background about Abraham Lincoln and his bed buddy, Kennedy and his Leukemia scare, and the shocking tales of Ben Franklin… and then later the stories looped.

I now wanted all my hours back from today.

When I came home I felt deprived of that time all over again. My internal clock told me to quickly turn the channel to “How I Met Your Mother” (it’s on at seven here in the state of Texas), and as I went to change the channel, I saw it was already 8, and I then relived the disappointment of DLS again.

When you’re a working parent you’re lacking hours in the day and week as it is. They can’t keep snatching it away from me and giving it back during the darkest time of the year over six months later! Stop messing with my life!

My Moshi talking clock is no help, “Hello Moshi.” – “Welcome, command please?” – “Give me back my time.”- “Sorry, I didn’t recognize your command.” (sigh) “Cancel.” :’(

If you’re going to time snatch, do it at the beginning of the weekend. I’m not a single gal who has the night life, out to boogie, screw those who into the partying. My fiance works until midnight on Fridays, I’m fine with the hour being nabbed Friday night/Saturday morning and thus allowing me a weekend to adapt.

Speaking of when I had my additional time and life was normal, I watched “Game Change” on Saturday night. It was nothing new, and if displayed accurately then my view of McCain has changed a little more towards the positive- Palin remains the same. I’m not quite sure still *why* it was made, if it needed to be made and didn’t really offer any thing new. I was also thinking that even if it did… then, “So?”

The rest of my stolen hour weekend was spent playing Angry Birds which resulted in me hitting my head on my keyboard quite a bit and sobbing, watching “Dream House” and writing love letters to my precious hour that went away.

Nearly everyone got their hour stolen and I think I’m going to hunt down the missing hours and steal them all back; which almost sounds like it could be a sequel to “In Time”.

I may not do a lot of constructive things with my time, but it’s mine. And I miss it.

Current Mood: Crazy!

Jonathon & Teddy Atlas in NYC at a boxing match

I think I’m going to start a new section here much like “Sh*t My Dad Says”, only it’s not my dad, it’s my son, Jonathon. To those who are new here, my son has quadriplegic cerebral palsy. He can’t sit without support, walk, he has a difficult time with speech; and he has minimal use of his left hand. Although he’s 20, he has the body and mind of a 10 year old (emotionally- in other areas he has a keen grasp of things, understands science, can communicate via computers, loves drawing, playing video games; he’s a smart kid). He is also, for the most part- Mr. Literal. You can’t use colorful analogies around him or weave off the path of being ‘literal’ or you’ll hear him correct you… constantly. Sometimes I enjoy veering off the literal path just to make him go crazy.

The following post is not an example of ‘literal’ mindset.

So here’s my first entry: Jonathon has had a sub bus driver this past week and I finally asked him if he knew what happened to his normal bus driver. It’s tragic… but, well… “Stuff My Son Says” :/
Jonathon: “Her daughter died.”
Me: “Oh no!!!!!!!!!!!!! What happened!?!?!?!?!”
Jonathon: “She was old.”
Me: “What?!? Old??? The bus driver isn’t even old! She’s maybe barely older than me… How old was her daughter?”
Jonathon: “A teenager.”

I’m guessing in J’s world, anyone who’s over the age 18 is on borrowed time :/

My heart goes out to his bus driver and her family; I can’t even imagine the pain and feeling of loss they’re experiencing.

Current Mood: Sad