I saw this on Twitter posted by ‘Daily Atheist’. At first I chuckled and then thought it’d be a great business to get into, and then my morals set in a split second later when I posed the question, “Isn’t this taking advantage of the mentally ill should I charge money?” The answer… “Yes.” Even if a large portion of the population believes in the “rapture”, it still doesn’t mean it’s not a mental illness nor does it mean they aren’t weak minded folks.
A million mentally ill folk does not make for the norm, it simply means there’s a large portion of people who suffer mental illness. Drat.
I do offer my service free of charge for those who want peace of mind to a select few due to my limited space… although should the rapture occur, I’ll probably just move into a larger house that’s abandoned.
“You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.
We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.
We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet’s natural life.
We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina (new) and Georgia (new).
Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.
Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [PLEASE NOTE: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]
Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.”
Visit the site
Current Mood:
Amused
The fly in the ointment, of course, is that if the Rapture came, all atheists left behind (you included) would suddenly be putting all their energies into getting religion rather than saving animals.
Why? It would already mean that a mad scientist was able to build a death ray and got rid of all the crazies that walk amongst us.
Either way I’d just smile and go about my day. Okay, not true- that would be a massacre and hella scary… but I’d be more than happy to put out some dog food and scatter some bird seeds as owners RIP. Aww that’s sad and depressing. Poor people.
IF it were real… Why would I want to ‘find religion’? It’d be silly to all of a sudden think “Oh wow, all the hateful ignorant people were wiped off the planet… I want to go where they went!!!” Riiiiight. I think not. If a deity or being thought of them as ones to be ‘rewarded…’ it’s not really a life I’d want any part of. I like the idea of enjoying life here and having it be over with when the time comes, thank you very much.
“If you don’t believe in Santa Clause, even if you’re good… then you won’t get anything in your stocking and won’t you look like a fool when all the other people have stuffed stockings and YOU don’t!”
Some things I’m just not concerned about being real.
Besides- in a Universe where there are perhaps infinite possibilities… if one religion is ‘true’, then all of them would be… and although I opt for live and die… I wouldn’t mind hopping on board the reincarnation train instead of the fundie nutty train.
I wonder if other planets have thousands of religions as well, if they all agreed upon one belief system or if they’re a world of atheists. AND if someone from another planet had the opportunity to talk with someone from our planet- I wonder which region and religion they’d get their impression of us from. All of impossible scenarios and not realistic, but it’s an interesting thought.
What you’re really saying here is that if you suddenly discovered basically undeniable evidence that the fundamentalist Christians had been correct all along and that you had been utterly wrong about what was going on in the Universe, you’d still work out rationalizations to continue with your belief system unchanged.
Isn’t that what you’re accusing all existing believers of doing right now?
Speaking for myself, if evidence (and the Rapture would be pretty convincing evidence) came along that I’m wrong and somebody else is right, I’m going to be changing teams instantly.
(I thought you were going to password-protect posts like this?)
No, I don’t feel the need to password protect- I didn’t post this as a debate, I posted a link. If I password protected everything in fear of someone sparking debate, the entire site would be password protected. I’m caring less and less on whether or not I offend because a lot of people don’t care whether or not I’m offended by their posts or links on public sites I belong to- and this is a privately owned site.
I am a non-theist. I’m not looking for evidence of a god just like I’m not looking for evidence of fairies, or trolls or ghosts or anything else. It’s all silly.
I’m saying a rapture is not going to happen since gods do not exist outside of the minds of man. To ask me what I would do if one happened is like asking what I’d do if a Leprechaun came for his gold. It’s silly to think about and I’ve no idea how it could be a rational discussion.
Then I did state that if there were a ‘rapture’ and all the annoying fundies went away… why would I want to join them? I think I’d enjoy Earth much better with them gone. I also wrote that if they went away, it wouldn’t be at the hands of a deity, it would be at the hands of a madman. Which could very well be the same thing. The Christian god is not exactly a loving god.
Why would I want to live my life for a life that isn’t in the here and now? It’s silly.
Not sure what your point is.
And in case of a ‘rapture’ it would be proof that their belief system worked for them… still nothing I’d want a part of. As I said… if theirs was true then others would be as well and instead of hopping on the fundy crazy train, I’d opt for reincarnation.
You’re tossing fairy tales at me and expecting me to pretend that any one of them would be truth and I’d have to eat my words.
I would not change teams. I am not on a team. I am content with life. If a deity did appear and took people away… why would I want to go to another world or life? Big freaking deal.
WHY switch teams? Is our purpose in life to get to another club/world? How crappy our existence is if that’s true. I’d want no part of it. Who’s to say this isn’t a reward from another life? The reward for a well lived life is a well lived life.
The assholes who thump people on the heads with their bibles, condemn people, tell people they’re going to hell, judge people etc. if I have to do that in order to go to an unseen world with an unseen being- and just because it’s otherworldly it’s supposedly ‘good’ and ‘chosen’ and ‘ideal’? That’s pretty scary if people would all of a sudden watch a bunch of assholes disappear to be rewarded for being jackasses… and then all of a sudden they think “Hey this whole thinking for yourself and being a decent person because you WANT to be instead of because you HAVE to be… is dumb! I want to give up myself and go to the unknown because all the idiots went! WOO HOO count me in!”
How would you know it’s not a trap? How would you know that’s not the punisher? How would I switch teams? I’m not on a team. I’m a human being living on Earth and I’m enjoying this experience. I’m not going to wrap my head around fairy tales and figure out what I’d do in each scenario. Do you know how many freaking religions are out there? How many ‘teams’ I’d have to figure out “Which am I going to say oops for?” Christianity isn’t the only one. I don’t believe in ANY of them and if ANY of them manifested- big freaking deal- IF the fairytale were true… as I said… “Take your people and go.” It’d be that religions people…. NOT MINE. I’m not going hop on board because it’s NOT my religion. NOT my belief. If the people went away and their religion was true- I’d apologize for thinking they were crazy, I wouldn’t apologize for calling them assholes and judging creeps, even it if it is childish for me to do.
I wouldn’t want to live for that religion in this life and I sure as hell wouldn’t change my mind and ‘act accordingly’ so I can suck onto their religion in the after life. If I think they’re idiots here, I’d think they’re idiots there. Not mainly for their belief, but OMG to hear them kiss someone’s ass for all of eternity and kiss that ass with everyone else? No thank you.
**please note that I don’t think all religious people are assholes. There are some very gentle belief systems out there where the people don’t impose their views upon others and the views they think their deity(s) has/have.
So bottom line: IF a religion were true that talks about the people being pulled off the planet. Great for them. It’s still not my belief system. I would then believe that their people would be sucked off the Earth if they followed that religion… yes. But I still would not care to join that religion. I would not go by biblical teachings or that religions texts because worship of another being is pathetic and a sad way to live- and why the hell would I want to be pulled off my planet so I could worship a being non-stop? Sounds like a blast.
“OH wow!! The religious group who shaves their head and clucks like chickens 24/7 were raptured just like their scroll said! I’m going to now shave my head and cluck like a chicken because they were taken away- it MUST be afterlife reward because they’re gone and because they’re gone… then it must be the chosen life and what I want to do for all eternity!!!” YEE HAW! :\
My apologies to anyone reading, this was not meant to be a religious debate- I just wanted to offer my services SHOULD any such rapture take place. No worries- I would not try to scramble for your after life, you can have it. I was merely stating that I would be more than happy to watch your pets for free (limited number due to lack of space)
a good bird seed is of course Sunflower seeds, birds like them coz they are tasty;;,
we always use sunflowers as our bird seed`’.