I haven’t really heard the protocol on this, however, belonging to a social network I see constant photo’s being uploaded left and right and rarely are any of them flattering to anyone… and of course some people out there CANNOT take a bad picture. I am not in that last category.
I *hate* my picture taken by someone else especially posted without consent. I hate going to gatherings and having pictures being taken when I really don’t want them to. I can’t figure out the appeal of whipping out the camera, taking a zillion shots and posting them all. I don’t understand the appeal of flash photography- do people not understand that most flashes are horrible? Unless you have a detachable flash or a flash you can create so the light bounces elsewhere- DO NOT USE IT. Most people aren’t photogenic, especially head on… especially ME (imo) and regardless, I’m introverted- I’m not comfortable with photos of me – especially when I hadn’t been around a large social circle, or ANY social circle in a very long time.
It did push me into losing 10 pounds over the past week and am now at the half way mark of my diet… I guess that’s good.
My issue is that I also hate not having control over the photo- it’s my quirky artsy nature.
So I ask my dear readers: Is it rude to ask people not to take your pictures, and if pressured- is it wrong to ask for them to keep them OFFLINE?
Is it rude to pressure people into taking a picture of them and then posting them online when they asked that you don’t?
What is the proper way to go about it in either case?
You’ve confirmed a suspicion I’ve had for a long time, namely that you are very good at taking pictures of yourself … because nobody could look as good as you do in those photos. No wonder you want to be the only one to photograph yourself, because you’re the only one with the skill to do it properly.
But I sympathize entirely. Every photograph of me ends up looking just like me. In other words, they’re all bad photos. Fortunately, nobody sees fit to publish them anywhere.
Mirrors are another pet peeve. They can send a man to moon — or at least, they used to be able to send a man to the moon — but they can’t make a mirror that shows me the way I am in my imagination. How hard can it be?
Well I can’t fake smile. I hate sitting there and counting to 3 for a surprised light flashing in my face photo that ALWAYS looks staged- and I’m not good at staged. Some people are great at it I guess, while some of us are not.
Candid shots have been fine (which is what I try to do) as well as natural lighting. Smile and cheese for pictures you don’t want to be in… those never turn out well.
I think there should be a protocol in place for that. NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY!!!!
Rudeness of the person behind the camera or the person in front of it?
My mom basically refused to have her picture taken, and was reasonably curt about it. Some of that has rubbed off on me, as I won’t be rude about it but I don’t like it. Same as you, I can’t smile and seem natural on demand.
But I have trouble joining in, and that’s probably a big part of it. People who do fit in — who are usually the ones taking the pictures — probably don’t have any grasp at all of the lack of desire that misfits have in participating, and so wouldn’t dream that what they’re doing would be considered rude. They probably think they’re being generous. (They probably are being generous, even if I don’t appreciate it.) They’re the same people who are always trying to talk me into doing things I don’t want to do, saying “it will be fun!” As if I don’t know what I think is fun and not fun! So I have no doubt they think I’m the rude one if I don’t take such pestering in a good spirit.
wow, i almost forgot my response! Both computers decided to go- and I finally have one running (the other is about to be running properly)
I completely forgot about the perspective you brought up. They really do think they’re doing something polite and inclusive, and probably have no concept or understanding of how that can possibly make someone uncomfortable.
So I imagine our personality types are the minority. Did your mom’s curtness work? I wish I knew an extrovert type personality I can ask without offending on what would work with them when politely declining having your soul captured by the evil camera. Some people are actually great photographers and they do know how to take nice social pictures of the event without tearing people out of the moment and forcing them into uncomfortable situations. (like me) heh
I wonder if I could say that I’m technically owned by such and such and for them to take a picture without their consent would lead to a lawsuit.
Now that you mention it, I don’t actually know if it worked or not. (My mom’s curtness.) In my experience, nothing works. Even an actual explanation of your true feelings doesn’t work — especially an actual explanation — because it just sounds to them like something they should talk you out of. It makes them feel like saving you from yourself. The bottom line is that an extrovert is going to get what they want from an introvert just by sheer persistence unless the introvert runs away and hides.
I guess you could say that you belong to some cult that doesn’t allow your picture to be taken, but nobody who knows you is going to believe it. They might believe me, I suppose. I wonder if there are any cults like that? If you google for Ron Burkey, there are a lot of pages about “Ron Burkey, Scientologist” (not me), but I think Scientologists must allow their pictures to be taken or else Tom Cruise and John Travolta couldn’t be actors.