<sarcasm>Great week so far</sarcasm>-  no call backs (one I tried seems too mainstream and cheap… I’m not bating my breath but it would be pretty cool… PLUS it’s not in my home, which would be nice I think), drying rack broke and my clothes are going on day 3 of drying in the closet even with fans pointed on them, Jonathon’s electric wheelchair broke (while blocks from home- it’s about 350lbs and there was an incline) which was SUPER fun, the cat got his claw stuck in my toe, and now a full brand new pitcher of protein juice broke and flooded my fridge and kitchen floor. What? It’s only Tuesday??

Tomorrow will be better!

So far my search for care has come up empty handed. Would it be psychotic if I repeatedly called or contacted people claiming to look for care work and screaming, “WHY WON’T YOU CALL ME?!?!?!” Now I have to wait until July 1st to start the care provider process and hope I find someone within that time… and bounce things around to make sure two weeks minimum unpaid won’t sting. You’d think that with so many lay-off’s and in a recession, I wouldn’t have problems finding people willing to take $ for caring for my son.

I still plan on fighting policy. I still want it explained to me in a way that makes sense and pertains to this day and age. And I kind of still want to scream.

“I HAVE MONEY FOR YOU NOW TO WATCH MY BOY- PLEASE LET ME WORK!!!”

Although Saturday was nice and busy, Sunday had a darker more annoying tone. Worry started to set in, my hands were stinging from wringing clothes, my drying rack cracked and sitting in an apartment with wet clothes hanging from all the doors, cupboards etc.  (and I’m currently wearing wet clothes that are very uncomfortable)- I made a new rule: Never wash more than a sinkful of clothes at a time. My mistake was just doing a full bathtub’s full of clothing because I’m sicking of washing clothes nightly, so I figured I’d do a few days at one time. Not wise and lesson possibly learned.

I will be SO irked if I ever get that stupid rusted screw out of the washer and find it really is just a slipped belt and a 5 second fix. I don’t care about fixing my dryer any more… at least until winter. I don’t like running the dryer in summer any way, but the washing is too much! I don’t know why I can’t find those camping washers any where. I used to have one and it was awesome!!! You put in clothes, soap, water- spin it, rinse it… it comes out clean and wrung out! It was only like 40 bucks and saved a ton of time, headaches and hands. I saw it online, but why isn’t in stores??

-This is what I found. I’m seeing if anyone knows offline where to purchase it… but as my damp clothes are still feeling very uncomfy, I’m really looking forward to their reply.

What Can You Wash With Wonderwash?

How about a week’s worth of dress shirts, ten T-shirts, 30 pairs of socks, bibs, or cloth diapers? If you can dirty it up, you can clean it up with Wonderwash.

How Does Wonderwash Work?

Place warm or hot water into the drum, fit the lid in place and seal the machine.

Inside the drum, the air absorbs the heat of the water and expands (just like a hot air balloon), creating air pressure.

The diluted detergent is forced by this pressure through the porous fabric of your laundry about 100 times faster than you could by hand washing or using a standard washing machine.

Minutes later…TA-DA! Clean clothes!

…okay, back to work. I want to be home!!! I don’t want to be home, but I do want to be home. I have SO much to do and Jonathon is in school (which would make it easier to do things)

and this is why ^_^ Laundry, Jonathon and Isla… I like the last two. OH- and because of the storm ruining my pool, I downsized for reasons having to do with the reality of apartment living… and storms. Pics of Isla and of course Jonathon irked about me taking his photo. It will not take his soul!!

**Update**

So…holding Isla on my shoulders and then looking up at her after giving her a full bottle, in retrospect, was not a good idea despite Jonathon’s continuous laughter from what ensued.

Current Mood: Buddha & Loved

You never know what can happen day to day. This week started out in tears and frustration and it is ending knowing I will be able to sleep soundly tonight. I’ve contacted several people for care, hoping at least ONE of them is still available for work and not psychotic. If I hear nothing by Monday… I will have to be out of work until July 1st which will be used to find care- it’ll be tight, but the hours I worked this week and my one day next week plus 20 hrs of PTO I was able to accumulate can get my rent paid for July.

I’m very thankful that I have the funds now to pay someone to care for my son for a month which can make all the difference in the world where a roof over our head is concerned. Now THAT is something to cheer about! CHEERS! Thank you R ^_^ I’m still pinching myself.

Current Mood: Thankful

Update: My ombudsman is looking into the situation after I wrote last night, I’m going to get a hold of my state rep, and I was brought to tears by the generosity of someone awesome who has helped make it so I can afford to pay care for hopefully at least a month or so!! (makes it MUCH easier to find someone when I can pay them!) My FMLA does start either Monday or Tuesday until I find the person, but I’m still in “I must pinch myself” mode. I think I’m going to pass out.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even begin to properly express some of the weight that is lifted by this.

Okay- back to work to make things less hellish for my replacement who hopefully won’t have to replace me for too long of a time.

OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

So this is a part of conversation I just had when wondering where to go from here… and I’m only reposting it because maybe someone out there some where knows SOMETHING that my hours of research and talking with people haven’t discovered…

“Ya know what… I’m worried about losing everything… not hurting feelings at this point
I don’t care for an ‘in’, just policy change
I wanted to go to the ombudsman to see about a change but was suggested to keep it inside the building.
Well I went through the proper chain of command here first. I don’t think it’s right that I am hourly and forbidden to work from home through another job (should find one or be offered one temporarily) when my current job won’t allow me to work from home. The policy makes sense if I was seeking employment outside the home- because if I could do that… why would I need to take leave?
But I’m not. I would GLADLY telecommute for [x], but they won’t let me.
AND they won’t let me telecommute for anyone else or do jobs for anyone else either.
I’ve been approved a 12 week leave without pay- from ANYONE. As a single parent who has NO OTHER INCOME- what am I supposed to do?
I’m a legal upstanding person- I can’t ethically work under false pretense and I won’t.
So I want policy change. Not to say I can even find anything- but it’s NOT FAIR that I’m forbidden.
If there’s a CHANCE I can make it so I won’t have to lose my apartment and sell my car… why aren’t I allowed that?

Well- my time is almost up for resolution. They stopped allowing us lowly hourly people to telecommute- except a couple of them who were fortunate enough to have some how managed to get on to that before they slammed down the big fat no. I have funding for care that can help pay $765 a month for care, but… because of Jonathon’s needs, providers require me to pay an additional $960 (minimum… MINIMUM)- which would be fine if I didn’t have to pay rent, electricity, bills, food… you know- all that survival stuff. The 15th may be my last day.

I’m bating my breath waiting to see if I’ll at least qualify for FMLA- which again won’t help me financially but it will give me a job to return to regardless of whether or not I wind up homeless from all of this- so at least come September I may be able to rebuild my life again by October after a couple paychecks lol if I can get to work. I’m still debating on whether or not to sell the car, but it’s having issues and I don’t know how much I’d get for it. Why sell it if it won’t pay the rent? I’d still need to get to work come fall. OR hopefully find someone who is a good person who doesn’t charge what I make.

So I do ask… What would Joss do?

I don’t have anything to explain that remark. I think I’m coming into the realization that the world really does not revolve around me and my needs! My heart is breaking and my brain is developing a fog around it. Why? WHY doesn’t it revolve around me?

Okay, so last night I watched Get me out of here I’m a celebrity. It’s *not* a good show and the celeb’s are *not* interesting… but nothing is on and my brain is back in spent-land.

Here’s what I’ve gathered from the bits I’ve seen- Z-list celebrities are transported to Costa Rico or Puerto Rico, or Rico’s backyard and they’re forced to eat testicles and bugs so they can have regular food at night or starve to death. No one’s died yet. That kind of sucks.

The other show I viewed was “Glee”. It might be interesting. The pilot was- a guy takes over a glee club. The club is filled with misfits. They get thrown in Rico’s backyard to starve to death… gleefully.

I may have it confused a little.

Movies! I can’t forget to mention movies. The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons was not as great as I thought it’d be The characters quite frankly were not very interesting… okay, I take it back… the people who breathed life into the interesting characters made the characters actually seem pretty bland. It was disappointing. I wish for them to be sent to Rico’s backyard as well.

“He’s Just Not That Into You” Yes I’ve read all the books like the loon girl I am, and yes I saw myself in the movie- it SUCKED! Reality slaps are always painful. Actually I’ve realized all that stuff awhile ago and that’s why I quit dating. I don’t care to keep running into men who are just not that into me. It’s disappointing and if I want to be disappointed… okay, well I like to limit my exposure to disappointment. I didn’t *love* the film, but I won’t be sending them to Rico’s either.

Bacon Gumballs- go to Thinkgeek and look it up. That’s all I’ve got to say.

I am taking a break from having a massive mental break down over my summer situation and I am going to post! That’s what you do when you don’t want to be the one flying over the cuckoo’s nest. You post. If they had blogging in the 70′s, Jack Nicholson would be an unknown.

The first sentence I read on Reuters was “Apple Cuts iPhone to $99, Jobs no where in sight” *gasp* Not that I could afford the additional $99 right now, and even if I could… I *heart* my Blackberry… but I am impressed at how they’ve taken our current economic status into consideration… or *have* they???? Read the full article here. I haven’t read the full article, that’s why I had added “or *have* they” <-there may actually be nothing more to the story… or *is* there?

Before you leave my site to read the article- here’s a fun little site I had forgotten about. It’s supposed to help bloggers blog when they’ve even less to say than normal. Plinky. I was looking at my bookmarks and saw it in the list and it looked funny. Plinky… once I clicked it all came back to me.

They post a random topic suggestion daily and you can blog about it. I’m doing a two fer. I’m blogging about going to the site and I’ll blog about today’s topic:

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

• Explain why this new moniker would be better than the old one.

  Okay, if I could change my name (and I believe for a fee and moderate inconviences I *can*) I would change it to… ‘Lady’.

  I figure Lady is better than ‘Dawn’ because when said aloud, many people assume I was named ‘Don’. Yes, in this day and age there are still people out there who do not know that Dawn is a female name. No it’s not short for Dawnald/Donald, and no my mother was not a hippy. Yes it also means morning and I’d love to have a name that I don’t need to explain. If my name was exotic, perhaps I can understand… but no… it’s Dawn. Pure and simple Dawn, like me.

  If I were to go by the name ‘Lady’, there’d be no question what gender the name was. People would refer to me as ‘That Lady, Yo Lady… Hey Lady…” and I wouln’t be insulted because it’d actually be my name. There is also a certain level of class associated with Lady- and people would give my spaghetti to be whimsical and “funny”.

Here I stand on the verge of a mental breakdown… or not. I’ve got to give myself more credit. I may have to leave my job in a week because of the care situation- and it may fall under family medical leave- or I’ll have to quit. Either way it leaves me without money or a way to pay rent, bills and expenses and I’m going to pass out I think. I any one knows a telecommuting job I can do for the next three months- please oh please let me do it!!!

I swear I have the worlds largest headache! I’ve left messages every where trying to find some sort of help and nothing in return… Then on Friday, Ashley had surgery and although it went well… and I found out she has an illness that caught me off guard. I took care of Isla and when Ash came with to drop her off, she seemed so weak It breaks my heart, but Ryan seems to be doing a good job at taking care of her.

This next week might have some silence to it because of my mental drain while I think of what I’m going to do. I keep thinking, “This might be the last month I live in this apartment. This might be the last month I drive my car. This might be the last month I have internet or cable. This might be the last month I can have a full meal I cooked.” Then I imagine myself on the street corners with the other filthy faced people holding up signs begging for money and food.

No unemployment insurance. No sick leave. I can’t breathe! I seriously can’t!!! And then I find out that in addition to my income going away- if I don’t pay my premiums if I’m on leave… my insurance drops. This whole alone thing feels magnified right now.

Ack- the boy is calling me from the other room… time to put on the happy face

Think think think think

Current Mood: Sad