When I was a little girl I viewed adults as mature, responsible, decent examples of what I should strive to be when I get older. Merely observations of course of people who apparently had their act together. Maybe the lack of cell phone cameras and digi-cams that you could hide in your pockets assisted in that illusion or today’s grown-ups are really *that* embarrassing.
Sometimes I glance around and view parents in photos who are slung over other adults, their eyes obviously blood shot, hair disheveled and obviously trying to remain 21 until their kid hits that age so they can be drinking buddies. Who knows and who am I to judge. I’m glad I’m no longer 21, I don’t care to regress and my partying days are left in my post divorce period where I was trying to find my new footing in life flying completely solo. I just get chills… “Your family must be proud.”
All stages come to an end though and I feel that when you reach a certain age you begin to treat yourself and others with a certain amount of respect and consideration. Okay, I feel you should do that at ANY age, but a lot of parents aren’t raising their kids to be respectful to their elders any more, they teach them to be superficial little spoiled brats for the most part who can get anything they want if whine enough… unless Mommy has a headache and doesn’t want to deal with the kid so she screams at them like a teenager throwing a tantrum.
Give me a relaxing environment and decent conversationalist and I’m very content. For the most part, just give me a quiet evening so I can rest and I’m content. Yes I’m a goof ball, but I’ve embraced that I’m in a section of life where I wish to help the community and be a strong role model for girls, women and any one who’s dealt not the not so pleasant hands in life. I think I can do that AND keep my humor. I don’t deny the various parts of myself, but I do like to keep them at a healthy level and balanced. It’s not always easy… but I’m a work in progress. If I need alcohol to suppress a certain part of my personality in order to interact or do something I otherwise have no desire to do… don’t drink.
There was an article I read today, splashed over the news for the greater part of the week, but I didn’t pay attention until tonight. A 33 year old father and his 16 year old son beat a man who was out skiing nearly to death and then stole his vehicle and escaped to the SW states.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewAlbums&friendID=189907033 these photos sent chills through my body because it made it feel very much like a 1990′s Oliver Stone flick. Our lingering adolescence is going to have more dire consequences as the youth struggles to look upon their elders as examples to assist in their own growth blue print for interacting with and building upon society.
We’re, for the most part, out of control. Disconnected. Aloof. Blame is being tossed around so much and I’m tired of ducking under the tables merely trying to not to get hit- I want to jump up and scream “ENOUGH!” Grow up already.
Today more friends and co-workers were let go. I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a dysfunctional family while everyone kept hushed about it, going on with their day, terrified, sad, upset, but not uttering a word. I looked around and saw that people were frantically typing to each other on the computers and I just looked up at my co-worker and asked, “What the hell is wrong with people?” I didn’t understand the unspoken rule where you want to console the ones who were let go, you’re fearing for your own job, but you have to remained hushed because it wasn’t “officially” announced yet. I’m really sorry I don’t get people.
It reminded me of a bunch of abused children who didn’t want to speak and ask “What the hell is going on?” It was surreal. Come on people, no one’s going to walk up behind you and thunk you on the back of the head for speaking out of turn. Well if they do, it’s frowned upon.
So yes, I’m well into my adult years now and it really does feel like merely a number. I don’t see that as a good thing.
This is my rant. No, I have no partner and a lot on my plate and shoulders. Once in a while I do look around to see how other people do it- and for the most part all I can say is… borrowed time. They’re careless, driving blindfolded and just fortunate so far that they haven’t hit anything or anyone yet. Perhaps they’ll make it to their destination in one piece… and then you’ll look behind them at a bunch of new drivers who are thinking that’s the way to do it.
Perhaps my friends around 10 yrs + older didn’t have their act together at this age either but they managed to hide it better.
Maybe no one really grows up and the highway is filled with blind drivers, so I shouldn’t feel as shocked and scared as I watch everything come undone around me in my city, state and nation.
It was certainly my perception as a child that grown-ups knew what they were doing. It was a great shock and disappointment as I grew older to realize that for the most part they did not. I now realize that even the most misguided people generally are behaving in a way that accords with their own impressions that they are doing the right thing, but that quite often they’re not doing anything that makes sense at all. I said that the other day with respect to the man with 4 mistresses, and because the incident happened to be in China my lack of sympathy with their behavior could be dismissed as a cultural difference. There likely were some cultural factors at work, but basically I think it was just grown-ups being silly. Multiply their behavior by a billion, and you have the behavior of the human race, hopefully in an exaggerated form.
I was pondering the perceptions of children yesterday as I inspected my bulging biceps — not! — and reflected that my 6-year-old nephew might examine them and imagine I was very strong — which I am not. I recalled thinking just the same thing about a grown-up of my acquaintance when I was 6. Now I wonder *what* that grown-up was really like? Were my childish impressions completely mistaken? Was that grown-up a regular weakling like myself now?
On the other hand, a lot of what we perceive as society falling apart is really just change from what we’re used to and not deterioration. Perhaps not recession/depression and layoffs, of course … or perhaps yes from a large-enough perspective. We’re just too stupid as individuals, and even as a society, to know for sure. Balancing the silly, there are the people who (in some limited sphere of activity) are accomplishing the VERY GOOD and the VERY USEFUL. In the long run, the good stuff seems to outweigh the good stuff, and compound interest makes it even better. “It was the best of times, and the worst of times.” But then, which era wasn’t?
Yes, that’s all very glib. And possibly even true. It’s not much of a consolation when the bad times are shoved into your face.
Yeah- my head was running in circles about that. There are people who are holding up society, and I know I am not. I primarily am surrounded by those who work… and play- a lot. A lot a lot and it’s embarrassing to a degree due to their ages. GROW UP! Yes America is land of the free- but DO YOUR PART other than paying taxes. I’d make a horrible dictator. I know everyone needs an outlet and it’s wonderful to explore new things and to do what you love, but it gets old. It’s like playing in a sandbox and having tea parties until you’re 90… and nothing else.
It makes me wonder who *are* these people doing good in the world and why don’t I know them?
How do I get on board? How do I combine pleasure with service (in the non sexual way of course!). Mid-life crisis? Finding myself getting older but my peers just looking like wrinkled 21 year olds trying to party it up like they did oh so well 20 years ago?
Society has never been perfect. It never will be. I guess yesterdays round of lay offs has me more reflective than normal. Watching people’s lives get thrown into wood chipper all around us while others just play- oblivious to walls crashing down. I want to help
I know tribes tend to have a more defined structure in regards to the ages of their people and roles they play within the tribe, I guess we’ve never been a society like that… although it’d help.
Ugh.
And as for the China thing… I posted it because I thought it was way silly. It came across the norm and in my world, so bizarre. I visualized the event when I read it, again, like if I were watching a movie… and I think I’m reaching the age where I am learning that real life is stranger than fiction.
I don’t think that *you* need to worry particularly about getting on board, because: a) you have legitimate problems that occupy much more of your time and energy than more “normal” people do; and b) you’re putting yourself out there by publishing your concerns where anyone who has a mind to do so can see them. I don’t know if that sounds like a lot to you, but it’s something that most people (in my experience) don’t have the guts to do.
As far as the people who are doing the good work, I’m really referring to anyone involved in the arts or sciences. I don’t mean to deny the contributions of those who are involved directly in doing good for people — such as volunteering for MS, for example — and in fact I think that those folks deserve more *personal* credit in general than those involved in the arts and sciences. It’s just that the arts and sciences are cumulative in the sense that we’re still building today on the work that was done yesterday. We can still benefit from Leonardo’s “The Last Supper” (what’s left of it) today, 500 years after it was created; if Leonardo had spent his time feeding the poor instead, he would have been a much better person, but the world would be measurably poorer today. It’s kind of a sad paradox.
So there’s all manner of good work in the world, but if we intend to participate in it we have to do so in a manner befitting our talents, resources, and preparation, and not all of us are going to have much visible effect even if we try our best. The contrast, of course, is with those who do essentially nothing, and are basically parasites.
I’m pretty much referring to the typical wo/man who is assisting in organizing or participating in the fund raisers or raising awareness. The ones who are out there volunteering their time to read to children in burn wards, getting donated furniture for homeless shelters, or doing Habitat for Humanity… meals on wheels… I know my dad volunteers his time to take Sr’s around or did… did something lol hard to remember.
But there are so many things out there that doesn’t require much from one person, but can be appreciated by so many. I mean they have to have jobs on top of it… I don’t know. I was just thinking about it. When I was homeless in Alaska with Jonathon and wound up in a woman’s shelter, although I went around counseling people… there were so many good people out there who helped and encouraged me to continue on. I haven’t seen much of that in people in a very long time. The 90′s seemed more caring and involved. Lately things have felt like the 80′s on acid (superficial). I guess I’m just getting antsy. I know good people are out there, I just wish I knew how to encourage more goodness to shine through- in myself and hopefully others.
Alas! that (as I’m sure you knew all along) is a question to which I don’t have a helpful answer. But I am prone to framing my unhelpful answers using a LOT of words.
Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the tell-tale geek trait. We can’t help it.