This morning I saw on the UPS website that my package was ‘Out for Delivery’. Instantly a visual popped in my head of the little box snuggled up next to larger packages inside the UPS truck. My little bundle was giggly with anticipation and excitement because it knew that shortly it would be in my arms!

I couldn’t stop wondering if it was delivered or not and in the same thought I was kicking myself for not putting my work addy as the shipping address.

Oh the giddiness it had to have been feeling as the day stretched on nearly going crazy from being so close and yet so far from me.
Daydreams wiped away the daily grind as I pictured what the union would be like with a smile plastered on the little box that would match the one on my face as the driver handed over my box of joy.

Finally when I returned home I felt happiness surge through me I saw no delivery attempt was made during my work day. I was worried I would have missed it and then go through the pain all over again tomorrow… or worse… they left it on the door step and some sinister being snatched it away to spend their evening learning about EVERYTHING and how to write a graphic novel.

I swear those thoughts had my you know what’s in a bunch most of the day. In fact, they were so bad that I’m scowling right now remembering what it was like to think about it.

It didn’t matter though. There was no delivery in my absence and now I could just obsess over the quiet door.

2 hours after I made it home, occupied myself with cooking and eating dinner… FINALLY I saw a little man in brown walk past the bedroom window.

“IT’S HERE!!!” I jumped to my feet and pretended to take my time opening the door. My coolness was wiped away rather fast when I saw the package tucked under the mans arm and a little “Yee!” escaped from me. The guy looked a little amused as I went back to my cool demeanor. I signed my name, closed the door and then yee’ed again as I jumped onto the sofa and tore open my box.

It may sound a little strange to be excited over such a small purchase, so I felt the need to shed a little light inside the inner workings of my mind:

Out of curiosity I had decided to visit my purchase history with Amazon to see when my last *me* purchase was. I know I had bought quite a few things off of there, but for the life of me I could not recall… Well, the last that was shipped to my address was April of 2006. A CD. No wonder I was filled with so much excitement over receiving the two books I had placed an order for on Saturday night.

Here’s a new segment that I’m trying out due to all the eye rolling things that are my life.

Last week I was having a conversation with someone about tea and putting creamer in tea. I’ve *no* idea who or what brought up the topic, but it’s been in the back of my mind for the past week. Yesterday morning I recall eyeing the creamer while brewing a morning cup and just kind of shook it out of my head. “Maybe another time”. Not that it takes a lot of bravery to have cream in your tea, the British do it all the time… but after a life long coffee association, I have to warm up to it slowly.

En route to work I was listening to the best of Adam Carolla, when the commercials came on, there was an ad for Sweet Tea at McDonalds. I’ve no idea what’s in it, but I visualized a sweet Vanilla Chai, with creamer. Today would be the day! The French and Original creamers that have flaunted themselves in front of me for the past few days would finally be stirred into my hot tea goodness. I will brave it today! The commercial was a SIGN!

I went to the break station and poured in the hot water, dipped the bags and then went to reach for the creamer… NONE! I checked around the microwave, behind the sink… NADA! Quickly I rushed to the second break station… NO CREAMER THERE EITHER!

It figures. As soon as the desire passes… we’ll be over stocked with the stuff.

Well the 81st Academy Awards show came and went. My enthusiasm is so tightly locked inside my head, I was a little shocked to lift my head up and find out that I’m known for my Oscar love by my phone messages. I guess those who truly know me :-X

It was a wonderful night- I was pleased with everything from the starting number to the winning picture. Hugh Jackman did a spectacular job, I can go on and on but then it would be about *them* and not *ME*. Although I will say Tina Fey and Steve Martin- brilliant

Books. I’m all about the books this weekend and I want to share my prize findings.

Pilates. It was a tough call with this purchase. My kids and I were standing in line at Borders and they had conveniently placed stacks of discounted books/kits in the line for you to go back and forth with as you await your turn. The first thing I saw was a GIANT Origami kit that I really really really REALLY wanted. Two steps forward and the GIANT Origami kit held in my arms was dropped when Ash mentioned “Pilates book and DVD”. Origami… paper to fold all fancy like which I LOVE- but I have no clue what I’d do with all the fancy folder paper versus the huge thing that is supposed to be GOOD for me. Origami vs. Pilates.

This was not an easy decision. I kept interchanging them and not even I knew what the end result would be until it came time to step up to the register… where I put down one of the kits and handed the cashier… “Authentic Pilates”. Damn it. It’s the better for me choice, but OMG what is better than Origami??? I even passed up the mini-Buddha and mini-Lucky Cat that I wanted oh so bad.

My other purchases? OMG “More Forbidden Knowledge” I now know how take a tasing, disarm a nuclear bomb, maneuver through a mine field AND amputate a limb. HOW COOL IS THAT???

To top it off… “The Art of Seduction” I am going to be SO well rounded! Yes I think I have an *idea* but it’s an art that although at one point in your life came naturally, you worry it fades when you don’t really get a chance to interact much.

When I went to Borders I was seeking “The Idiot’s Guide to Writing a Graphic Novel” (which I ordered through Amazon last night). I’m excited about that one, not to mention the stack of Graphic novels I’m going to be plowing through to make sure MINE is the best EVER- okay… I don’t care about being the best ever, but I do care about my story being told. It’s a freakishly wonderful concept/idea that I really want to breathe life into.

From Amazon I also have en route “Mental Floss Presents Condensed Knowledge: A Deliciously Irreverent Guide to Feeling Smart Again”. At Border’s I was stretching my arm out by carrying in the basket just about every book out there on improving your mind, brain power, useless trivia/knowledge etc. and I couldn’t make up my mind! Being drawn to a buy one get 1/2 off table (that Ash showed me) finally… after 45 minutes of going back and forth, caused me to release the cerebral findings and opt for the treasure trove I came home with… but the thirst for more knowledge of stuff I didn’t need to know continued- and Mental Floss… well I LOVE Mental Floss… ABSOLUTELY love it… so now I’m going to get into the books series that I see it has!

That’s all inside my head that I’m willing to share *for* now.

I have so much more to write about the show and several new books that are gracing my shelves and are en route to gracing my shelf. I also have a ton of e-mails to catch up on… Sorry!!!

While I try to downsize my brain- here’s my favorite new opening Oscars number

Can you believe it’s been over a year in a half since the Dawn Launch? September 27th, 2007. It feels like it was just yesterday! But it wasn’t yesterday unless I’ve fallen into some odd wormhole that has placed me back in time, which I *know* hasn’t happened because my PC clock is showing that it is indeed February 19th, 2007- phew… I REALLY don’t want to relive any years.

February 12, 2009

Dear Charles Dawnwins,

Dawn continues to close in on Mars, ready for the gravitational slingshot that will help it on its expedition to the asteroid belt and its quest to gain insights into the evolution of the solar system. The ship remains on course, with the latest calculations of its trajectory being very close to those described in the last log. The spacecraft will streak about 549 kilometers (341 miles) above the planet at 4:28 p.m. PST on February 17.

While Dawn and Mars move in their separate orbits around the Sun, they are approaching each other at the stately pace of 2.56 kilometers/second (5720 miles/hour). Gradually, the gravitational pull of the planet will grow as the distance shrinks, and the spacecraft’s path will start to change, beginning the boost we seek. By about noon PST on February 14, the tug from Mars will have grown to be the same as the famously gentle thrust from Dawn’s ion propulsion system. When Dawn is closest to Mars, speeding past it at 5.31 kilometers/second (11,900 miles/hour), the red planet will be exerting 34,000 times greater force than the blue-green xenon beam generates.

Just as a swing speeds up as it approaches the bottom of its arc and slows down as it rises again, Dawn accelerates as it gains on the planet and decelerates as it climbs away. Unlike a swing, though (at least the kind your correspondent was allowed to play on as a youngster on Earth), Dawn will not retrace its path; it will not descend again after ascending from the vicinity of Mars. It is in its own orbit around the Sun and will move too swiftly by Mars for the planet to capture it into orbit.

To illustrate Dawn’s arc, let’s use the somewhat arbitrary speed of 4 kilometers/second (9000 miles/hour) as a reference. Over the coming days, Mars will attract Dawn, and the craft will have accelerated to that speed about 34 minutes before its closest point, still 5500 kilometers (3400 miles) away from the planet. After dipping still lower and falling still faster while it approaches Mars, the spacecraft will slow down as it departs. It will have decelerated to the same speed of 4 kilometers/second at 34 minutes after its closest encounter. Within a few days, the speed will have dropped to today’s value of 2.56 kilometers/second again. The arc of Dawn’s acceleration toward Mars matches the arc of its deceleration, displaying the same kind of symmetrical motion as a swing.

Where then is the effect of the gravity assist? Because Dawn is in orbit around the Sun, it is the distortion of that solar orbit caused by Mars that provides the advantage to the mission. In the previous log, we saw how the benefits of the gravitational interaction with Mars could be described as changes in the spacecraft speed. The 1.1 kilometers/second (2500 miles/hour) that represented the change in the shape of the orbit means that Dawn’s incoming speed and outgoing speed relative to the Sun are not the same, even though, as we saw above, they are the same relative to Mars. Before it reaches Mars, the probe will be traveling around the Sun at less than 25.5 kilometers/second (57,000 miles/hour). Thanks to the boost from Mars, the speed after the encounter will be more than 26.6 kilometers/second (59,500 miles/hour). The difference is precisely the effect described in the previous log.

The reshaping of Dawn’s orbit is different from the reorienting of the plane of the orbit, also explained in the previous log. The plane change from the gravity assist, of vital importance to the mission, does not manifest itself as a difference in the speed of the spacecraft around the Sun; it is a difference in the direction of motion. Nevertheless, the effect can be described as being equivalent to a change in speed (actually, in velocity), as it was in the last log. (For interested readers for whom these points are not already evident, please click here to go to the log that clarifies it. [Editor, I have not written such a log yet, although I will write an explanation in the future. In the meantime, please insert an acausal hyperlink for readers who do not want to wait.])

As Dawn plunges toward Mars, it will be coming in over the northern hemisphere, reaching above 60° latitude. As Mars bends the orbit, changing the direction the craft travels around the Sun, Dawn will depart over the southern hemisphere. Leaving the planet behind on its new path around the Sun, it will be above 60° south latitude.

The focus of the Dawn team’s work for the Mars encounter has been to achieve a trajectory that would deliver the probe to the target above Mars at the right time and traveling at the correct angle to accomplish the needed gravitational boost. As long as the spacecraft will be in the vicinity of such a familiar solar system site, albeit briefly, the team decided to take advantage of the occasion to calibrate the instruments that are designed to elucidate the nature of Vesta and Ceres. As mentioned at the end of the previous log, there is little Dawn can learn about Mars that is new. Indeed, it is flying higher and faster than spacecraft there right now. In addition, its instruments are intended for the initial examination of previously unexplored worlds, not the detailed investigation of a planet that already has been scrutinized by spacecraft for decades. That very scrutiny, however, means that there is a valuable database for use in comparing observations by Dawn’s instruments, helping to prepare them for their assigned tasks in the asteroid belt. Dawn’s observations at Mars, like the other, more distant measurements it has made of stars and planets since launch, help prepare for the real rewards of the mission. (To recapture the thrill of some of the previous in-flight observations, visit the logs of October 24, 2007, December 17, 2007, February 29 of any year, or April 22, 2008.)

Each instrument will acquire data to be used in comparisons with observations made by similar instruments on spacecraft dedicated to the study of Mars. Rather than using Dawn to learn about Mars, our focus is on using Mars to learn about the performance of our instruments. This will be helpful in doing science at Vesta and Ceres and in navigating there. As we will see in subsequent logs, the positions of Vesta and Ceres are not known accurately enough that Dawn could rendezvous with them using conventional radio navigation techniques alone. To improve the navigation, the craft will take images of the bodies as it is closing in on them, and analysis of those images by the Dawn navigation team will help pin down the location of the target. Tests at Mars will contribute to characterizing the camera not only for science, but for this separate function as well.

If Dawn’s encounter had represented a unique opportunity to conduct vital new science, the plans would have been different. As just one example, Dawn will not attempt to acquire the highest resolution visible images that it might be capable of achieving. Instead, by smearing the view of Mars across the camera’s line of sight, engineers will provide a relatively uniform illumination for the camera’s detectors, providing interesting engineering data that cannot be obtained when observing the pinpoint light of stars.

In preparation for the encounter, on January 20 controllers activated the gamma-ray and neutron detector (GRaND), which, despite its name, is a very modest (but wonderfully capable) member of the on-board instrumentation. The last time GRaND was operated was in April. It remains healthy and is continuing to work well, sensing the effects of cosmic radiation impinging on the spacecraft.

Dawn is approaching Mars from outside the planet’s orbit around the Sun. Therefore, from the spacecraft’s point of view, Mars and the Sun are close together, and Mars would appear to be a thin crescent. This geometry precludes directing its instruments toward the planet well before it arrives. Designed to operate in the more distant asteroid belt, the instruments would not be able to tolerate the heating from the Sun. Therefore, although GRaND is able to detect space radiation, there would be nothing for the other instruments to do while awaiting their calibrations at Mars.

These instruments will be activated on February 17 using instructions already stored onboard. Dawn will be pointing its main antenna to Earth, so the mission control team can observe telemetry, but there is no plan to send additional instructions then. The visible and infrared mapping spectrometer will be powered on at about 9:47 a.m. PST, and the primary science camera will be commanded on at about 1:21 p.m. PST. (The backup science camera has been used for other tests in flight, but it will not participate in the activities at Mars.) All the times presented here are as measured on the spacecraft. Mission controllers will have to wait more than 19 minutes, as radio signals traverse the great distance to Earth, to observe the associated telemetry. In essence, their entire view of events will be delayed by this “one-way light time.” (The Dawn project remains ready to advise the FCC on the use of such a system to provide a guaranteed delay in live broadcasting.)

At 1:57 p.m. PST, the spacecraft will begin turning to prepare for its calibration activities. The maneuver will move Earth out of the radio beam from the main antenna, so the spacecraft will switch to 1 of its 3 auxiliary antennas. Each of these antennas can emit a much broader beam, allowing communications over a wider range of orientations. The cost of spreading the signal over a much greater area is that when it is received at Earth, it is significantly weaker, so only a very limited amount of telemetry can be sent. For the subsequent day and a half, controllers will use this reduced flow of information to monitor Dawn’s work. Meanwhile, the instruments will attempt to record neutrons, gamma-rays, and ultraviolet, visible, and infrared light, all from Mars, all providing a bonus to the mission. (Dawn has previously conducted infrared observations of Mars. At that time the spacecraft was about 100,000 times farther from the planet than it will be when it swoops by next week.)

At 3:09 a.m. PST on February 19, Dawn will begin turning back to sight its main antenna on Earth once again. For more than a day, it will radio engineering data it stored during the time it could not transmit at high speed. At first, a Deep Space Network (DSN) antenna near Madrid, Spain, will receive the signals. As Earth rotates, the 34-meter (112-foot) dish will no longer be able to point to Dawn (as viewed from Madrid, Dawn will set in the west, just as the Sun, the moon, stars, and other celestial objects do), so a DSN antenna near Goldstone, California, will take over. After about 8 hours, the Goldstone facility will hand the responsibility over to a DSN antenna still farther west, near Canberra, Australia, which eventually will pass the baton once again to Madrid.

At 7:48 a.m. on February 20, the spacecraft will rotate again to bring its camera to bear on Mars. By then, the view of distant Mars will be similar to what the spacecraft will have as it navigates to Vesta, once again providing an opportunity to prepare for the visit to that mysterious world. At 11:28 a.m., it will turn away from Mars for the last time and resume transmitting data back to Earth 45 minutes later. The precious capabilities of the DSN are shared among all interplanetary spacecraft, so Dawn will return to more intermittent tracking on Friday. The return of data will be completed the following week.

All data that Dawn collects at Mars are considered a bonus of the mission. Indeed, when the mission was conceived, its launch was to be in 2006, and the mission to Vesta and Ceres then did not require the assistance of Mars. It was only in 2005, when the launch was rescheduled to 2007, that trajectory designers added Mars to the itinerary. The gravitational deflection is essential to the success of the mission, but the activities during the visit to Mars are secondary to the mission’s principal objectives.

Even before Dawn has paid a visit to Mars, engineers are already busy planning the details of the spacecraft’s next assignments. Following its brief divertissement at the planet, it will continue to coast in its orbit around the Sun until June. With Mars helping to reshape its orbit, there is no need for ion thrusting for a while. In the next few logs, we will follow along as Dawn engages in other work to be completed before the resumption of its most familiar function of reaching for the asteroid belt atop a blue-green pillar of xenon ions.

Dawn is 1.1 million kilometers (680 thousand miles) from Mars. It is 348 million kilometers (216 million miles) from Earth, or 910 times as far as the moon and 2.36 times as far as the Sun. Radio signals, traveling at the universal limit of the speed of light, take 39 minutes to make the round trip.

Dr. Marc D. Rayman
8:00 pm PST February 12, 2009

When I was a little girl I viewed adults as mature, responsible, decent examples of what I should strive to be when I get older. Merely observations of course of people who apparently had their act together. Maybe the lack of cell phone cameras and digi-cams that you could hide in your pockets assisted in that illusion or today’s grown-ups are really *that* embarrassing.

Sometimes I glance around and view parents in photos who are slung over other adults, their eyes obviously blood shot, hair disheveled and obviously trying to remain 21 until their kid hits that age so they can be drinking buddies. Who knows and who am I to judge. I’m glad I’m no longer 21, I don’t care to regress and my partying days are left in my post divorce period where I was trying to find my new footing in life flying completely solo. I just get chills… “Your family must be proud.”

All stages come to an end though and I feel that when you reach a certain age you begin to treat yourself and others with a certain amount of respect and consideration. Okay, I feel you should do that at ANY age, but a lot of parents aren’t raising their kids to be respectful to their elders any more, they teach them to be superficial little spoiled brats for the most part who can get anything they want if whine enough… unless Mommy has a headache and doesn’t want to deal with the kid so she screams at them like a teenager throwing a tantrum.

Give me a relaxing environment and decent conversationalist and I’m very content. For the most part, just give me a quiet evening so I can rest and I’m content. Yes I’m a goof ball, but I’ve embraced that I’m in a section of life where I wish to help the community and be a strong role model for girls, women and any one who’s dealt not the not so pleasant hands in life. I think I can do that AND keep my humor. I don’t deny the various parts of myself, but I do like to keep them at a healthy level and balanced. It’s not always easy… but I’m a work in progress. If I need alcohol to suppress a certain part of my personality in order to interact or do something I otherwise have no desire to do… don’t drink.

There was an article I read today, splashed over the news for the greater part of the week, but I didn’t pay attention until tonight. A 33 year old father and his 16 year old son beat a man who was out skiing nearly to death and then stole his vehicle and escaped to the SW states.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewAlbums&friendID=189907033 these photos sent chills through my body because it made it feel very much like a 1990′s Oliver Stone flick. Our lingering adolescence is going to have more dire consequences as the youth struggles to look upon their elders as examples to assist in their own growth blue print for interacting with and building upon society.

We’re, for the most part, out of control. Disconnected. Aloof. Blame is being tossed around so much and I’m tired of ducking under the tables merely trying to not to get hit- I want to jump up and scream “ENOUGH!” Grow up already.

Today more friends and co-workers were let go. I felt like I was sitting in the middle of a dysfunctional family while everyone kept hushed about it, going on with their day, terrified, sad, upset, but not uttering a word. I looked around and saw that people were frantically typing to each other on the computers and I just looked up at my co-worker and asked, “What the hell is wrong with people?” I didn’t understand the unspoken rule where you want to console the ones who were let go, you’re fearing for your own job, but you have to remained hushed because it wasn’t “officially” announced yet. I’m really sorry I don’t get people.

It reminded me of a bunch of abused children who didn’t want to speak and ask “What the hell is going on?” It was surreal. Come on people, no one’s going to walk up behind you and thunk you on the back of the head for speaking out of turn. Well if they do, it’s frowned upon.

So yes, I’m well into my adult years now and it really does feel like merely a number. I don’t see that as a good thing.

This is my rant. No, I have no partner and a lot on my plate and shoulders. Once in a while I do look around to see how other people do it- and for the most part all I can say is… borrowed time. They’re careless, driving blindfolded and just fortunate so far that they haven’t hit anything or anyone yet. Perhaps they’ll make it to their destination in one piece… and then you’ll look behind them at a bunch of new drivers who are thinking that’s the way to do it.

Perhaps my friends around 10 yrs + older didn’t have their act together at this age either but they managed to hide it better.

Maybe no one really grows up and the highway is filled with blind drivers, so I shouldn’t feel as shocked and scared as I watch everything come undone around me in my city, state and nation.

SANDY, Utah (AP) – A stash of grass can take the place of a lot of gas, but it won’t do anything for mileage.

A Utah man took his newly acquired used SUV to a mechanic to find out why the gas gauge always read half-full.

The mechanic in Sandy looked inside the gas tank and found about 35 pounds of marijuana in plastic-wrap packages that filled about half of the tank’s volume.

Police estimate the pot is worth about $35,000.

The Nissan Armada has had several different owners and was once a rental car.

Sandy police are trying to figure out who stashed the pot but say the current owner is not a suspect.

Investigators in the town south of Salt Lake City say the drug packs could have been in the tank for months.
By Associated Press

I’m just imagining how the conversation went down with the person who stashed the pot and I really hope the friend/sig other who returned the car. “Hey, where’s the car?” “I returned it… I didn’t want to pay an addition $40 bucks…”

It was also brought to my attention that the mechanic has got to be one of the last honest ones. He could have easily taken out the pot and told the driver that the oxygen sensor was stuck.

This was too good not to post. Thanks to Scott for showing me this on my break. …My hearts and thoughts go out to the victims/survivors etc.
Chinese mistress contest takes tragic turn

BEIJING, China (CNN) — A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

The businessman and his spurned mistress met in Qingdao, pictured here last August, local media report.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name — Fan — was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu’s parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.

The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs.

Tonight at 9PM on FOX! Dollhouse!
I’ve been waiting for a VERY long time for this! From rumors, to production to YEE it’s here. So far it’s been a mixed bag of murmurs from people who have already watched the episode… but I’ll have the final word tonight when I get to get my giddy on!

Stay tuned…