Before I do my loud inner scream, I have to post this Monty Python clip that reminds me of a silly ‘argument’ I had from the other day about me canceling out finding things agreed upon.
Now to my screaming in the head, falling on the floor face down in exasperation and doing the primal yell!
1. WHY does no one find me attractive enough to ever ask me out?
2. I really want to move out of the area really really bad and I’m really wanting to move off the West Coast stat- but it SUCKS that there have been so many layoffs 
not a lot of job openings, let alone a good enough one to relocate.
3. I am finding it difficult to work out enough to rid of my quit smoking and stress weight. Because of this I’m finding my self esteem plummeting and falling face first on the floor a lot exasperated from all three situations.
4. Am I just really bored? I still have the issue I’m confronted with of finding people of like minds to go out with- WITH my son. I know who those people are locally… we just need to set something up. But I also have my MA friends that I miss too.
I wonder if I can get them to move to MA.
5. Billy Bob has me growling lately. At least he’s consistently being a flake?
6. As I approach my 6th month of being a non-smoker… I have to admit that I’m really craving one this weekend. I will not give in… I do not want to light up… but my lungs/breathing feels really odd. I have to take a deep breath as if I AM inhaling in order for the sensation to pass.
7. I watched Saw V this past weekend, and I didn’t hate it. Granted I drank a lot of wine…
8. My Best Friends Girl wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.
9. I got a new web camera… I guess I could post my FB pics on here too… the exposure is horrible just like my cell phone. My other webcam there was an issue with it being too dark, and it had been dropped one too many times… I can’t adjust the focus. My digi cam is broken and I can’t take a decent picture… although the way I’ve been feeling lately, I don’t have a decent face to take a picture of.
10. I’m sick of my whining.
11. This too shall pass.
12. I’ve got nothing.
13-18. Still nada.
19. I’ll figure out something of interest to write later.
20. ACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is good from this weekend as well:
1. I got off work early on Friday because Jonathon had no school.
2. I bought my first pair of shoes in four years because it’s the first full paycheck (non-rent) since the holidays.
3. I got Indian Jones dolls!
4. I love my boy… that should be number one, but he popped in my head this very second.
You’ll see Jonathon and I rocking out in the car… and as I scream out “We’re on the highway to hell!!!” he stops and says- “No Mom, we’re in the parking lot” I told him he’d suck on stage in concert… but then I noticed in the pic my hand looks man like and I was webslinging, which prompted another photo that caused a stir… of my man hand.
Jonathon’s Poltergeist moment Saturday morning “ooooh”
Jonathon using his Jedi mind trick at the store to get me to buy him a Star Wars toy after using his Jedi mind trick to get me to stop taking pics of him.
I also had my anklet picture that I call Amish porn which was initially taken to see if I could turn my robe into a Snuggie- my robe is red and silk… and the material pulled up. Not Snuggie-esque I guess… but very Amish porn-ish.
The other pics were on my old web cam (dark ones- where I was watching Saw V and VERY bored and capturing my boredom)
The over exposed pics are my new webcam.
I give up!!! Anyone know a decent webcam application? I used the one it came with HP Pro- and I hate it.
Current Mood:
Crazy!
Regarding your point #1: That’s crazy talk. Or else the pictures you post are of someone other than you. If so, you can tell whoever is in those pictures that she has perhaps the most beautiful face I have ever seen. So here are points that stick out like a sore thumb to someone who is halfway across the country, hasn’t met you in person, and simply takes your blog at face value:
a. You are extremely attractive in appearance.
b. You are very funny.
c. You are quite clever.
Whatever explanation you care to seek regarding a dating lack has to be elsewhere.
Thank you
it’s hard to get a good perspective of self. Do I photograph better than I look? Life isn’t about looks… am I just hopeless?
If I seek answers any where else, I’ll have to add ‘neurotic’ onto my flaw list. <-which I might be.
I do this periodically and I’d like to think it’s natural human nature. I hate feeling insecure about myself or lacking. I need to snap out of it and I will… but OMG sometimes it feels ridiculous- I can’t be THAT bad!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can I?
I have no idea if you photograph better than you look or not. But to say you photograph ‘well’ is an outrageous understatement. To put it bluntly, you are truly lovely. And that’s my last word on the subject.
Anyway, you’re far from hopeless. You’re just suffering from normal human funk. I suffer from it myself from time to time, and I don’t have half the real problems you do. I am coming to the conclusion that the human animal may just be too intelligent in most cases to really be happy on a consistent basis.
I’m such a conflicting animal. I love my privacy and solitude, but sometimes I want to share it with someone… and then make them go away.
Stupid human funk.
The older I get the more I feel that way. (Your 2nd paragraph.) Of course, you can do that with your really close friends of the same sex. But it really falls apart as a principle when you want to share with someone of the opposite sex since if you drive them away they tend to stay away.
I don’t really have any same sex friends. None local anyway or anyone I talk to on a normal basis; or heartfelt. It’s the opposite that tends to get murky. You don’t want to get ‘too close’ if you’re just friends- so the light hearted friendships are nice, but sometimes I just want to turn to someone in evening and laugh… smile… or say, “Oh my God did you you see that? …Now go away.” (jk to the go away part of the want… kind of) But I guess if a person is the right fit, you don’t want them to go away. You just want more.
I know exactly what you mean, and couldn’t even add anything to it. But a solution I have not.