Other than the weird accidental picture that took place while I was going to take shots of the winter wonderland outside my window that has me snowed in… I had a rush of odd thoughts today. The thoughts were so odd that for a moment I felt as if I were 20 again.

Oooooh to be 20 again with those profound thoughts. The thoughts started to flood even more so during ‘Bongwater’. I had to actually pause the movie to write this down.

The film takes place in Portland, not too far from me. In fact I had to rewind the movie because I missed the first part and I saw it looked REALLY familiar… any way. It was a cordless phone that grabbed my attention.

The cordless phone that I recalled cradling to my ear about the time the movie came out. The fashions I recalled wearing only ten years ago. This of course brought to mind most of the people on Facebook that I used to go to school with who I do not have listed as friends because… well quite frankly the people I do have on there are the people who didn’t annoy me (the few I went to school with of course… which would be… 3?)

So back to my train of thought and film disruption. Cordless phones were the new cool thing. A step up from the Hershey phone which was a step up from a multitude of other designs to grace our living rooms in under 100 years.

The fashions that change and cycle out every three years. The rapid aging in a short period of time that I witnessed in a world where it feels like I’m standing still and everyone is flying past me.

We are teenagers who test the fates and if we make into young adulthood we are whisked into profound thoughts and realizations as we don the Republican attire to sit behind a wheel as we cart our off springs off to school and slumber parties, turning the corner into grand parenting and then pulling into the driveway just in time for our retirement party.

It happens way too fast and if you sit and look at the time table, not enough time has gone by for a full life to have happened and generations to spawn.

It had me wondering, does life move this quickly for those who have someone to share it all with? Does this whirlwind of a life only occur to us who are on the sidelines with no one to hear our plans and desires or is it swift regardless? This enormous glob of jumbled time that really means nothing. You love and care for the ones that you love and care for- and you know them because they’re there. They are in your living room, active on your social network, in your inbox or on your speed dial- and you only speak with them or see them perhaps once a year because the sparks from the day to day grind have you blinded to the calendar months and celebrations you should be jotting down with these people. That big empty field of time only feels as if it were a day, a week at the longest.

I went from Winnie the Pooh dresses, turtle necks and painter pants to wall bangs and flippy collars, baby doll dresses and flannel to Chanel handbags and business casual in what feels like a blink of an eye. A daughter and a son and a granddaughter and I’ve still a few years before I even hit 40. I did my entire life in record speed and now I wonder if it’s just a matter of watching myself decay for the next 50 yrs. My glorious ball of youth where I’m noticed and courted and adored and sought and wooed is over with- the grey is now wanting to poke through and metabolism is slowing down along with the passions that had us get through the first wave of political agenda and elections.

So will the next fifty years be remotely like the last three… where I’m kind of watching the world when I remember to lift my head up from the computer at work or at home once in awhile, noting the fashion or latest ‘name’ to splash across the screen, only to lower my head once more and pound out another year on the keyboard in order to maintain a stand still life style?

What does this have to do with Bongwater? From the movie/film/television stand point the film seemed still relatively fresh. I recalled watching the actors (who are my age) enter the scene. I remembered when Luke Wilson was new and up and coming along with Brittany, Alicia, Jeremy, etc. “Fresh” faces- who are now pretty seasoned and I’ve seen them come and go in the tabloid arena interchanging life events as others have come and gone with the title of up and coming, new on the scene… “Fresh” and if you look at it numerically, it really hasn’t been enough time to justify so many changes.

THIS is where my confusion comes in. Architecture. In the film the lay out of the buildings/houses etc is pretty basic. Sloppy and nothing outstanding. I’ve seen this time and time again on HGTV. You can tell a McMansion from a real home where craftsmanship meant something. Pride in work instead of rushed projects. I’ve noticed the same in people as well, maybe even myself in recent years. We come and go way too quickly or are we living too long for life to have as much depth and importance as we once painted it to have?

As we’re striving for longevity, are we mentally burning ourselves out mentally, physically and romantically?

Am I entering a mid life crisis prematurely?

Okay- back to the movie.

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