I’m going to start off by saying I’m ordering a pizza tonight. I’ve been working out tons, and eating salads- but it’s cold and windy out and my body is sore… so it’s okay, right? I’ll just add another ten minutes to my exercising tonight.
Now that I feel better about that, I have to announce that my son is a con artist. Helping him and trying to give him as much independence as I can sometimes calls for me turning a blind eye. Example: Last night we were playing UNO. The score was 1-1 and after the second game he asked me, “Mom, can you take the Draw 4 card and put it up my sleeve?” I looked at him funny, he looked at me innocently, I arched my brow and he blew me a kiss. I put the card up his sleeve and into the third game he motioned to his sleeve. I rolled my eyes and dropped it onto his lap. SHOCK- he won due to having the Draw 4. I shouted, “CHEATER! You cheated!” and he protested, “You’re the cheater, you put the card up my sleeve. You’re a bad girl. You’re a cheater.” 
And from AG- Our first list of 12
Over the next few weeks, ArsGeek will feature 12 lists of 12 things having to do with the holidays. Here’s our first foray.
Work holiday parties are so much fun! Unless of course you follow our simple 12 step program for not getting your can canned.
- Absolutely, positively NO cell phone cameras should be used.
- What happens at the party, stays at party. (I know, Vegas made it a cliché, but it’s true).
- Have a lawyer draw up a disclosure for everyone to sign prior to intoxication, relieving you of any responsibility for anything that you may say, do or reveal about yourself.
- Under no circumstance are you to select a play list after your third drink. The songs you pick when inebriated may tell people a little more about yourself than necessary. “But you don’t understand… “Wake me up before you go go” just says so much about life… and relationships.”
- Know that ordering Buttery Nipples may induce giggling – don’t do this unless you want your office mates to see you giggle.
- The old photocopier routine may be cliched, but it still happens. Make sure the copy room is locked and all machines are unplugged.
- Tattoo’s to commemorate the event may seem like a good idea at the time, but sometimes a memory or lack of, might just have to do.
- No matter how loud you get, Robert Plant still sings way better than you.
- Do not show off your pole dancing skills, no matter how many people ask you to.
- Making snow angels is fun! Just not in your best suit or evening gown.
- Remember that at most out of control holiday parties, multiple people wind up being your “best friend” during the course of the evening. Under no circumstance, come Monday morning, are you obligated to purchase or receive a BFF necklace… or acknowledge such deep friendships.
- Friends don’t let friends text drunk… especially messages to their boss.
Current Mood:
bored
