A film by John Carpenter- Oh wait, adapted by Rob Zombie.
I like Rob Zombie- as a musical artist. When it comes to film, he lost me with House of 1,000 Corpses. I had bated my breath for years as I had waited for a distributor to carry the film and bring it to a theater near me. Once it did, I recall it was a work night and I had traveled an hour north in order to view it.
I say it in my best Mike Myer’s SNL Scottish accent, “It was crap.” It took a little over an hour of making out w/my beau at the time in order to calm down enough to drive home. THREE years I was looking forward to that film. From start to end, I was there- and I felt betrayed, let down, wondering WHY he had entered an already spotty arena. Videos are three minutes long, a film runs at least an hour and a half. Apples and Oranges Rob- apples and oranges.
Fast forward to a year ago. I had a conversation with someone that went somewhat along the lines of:
Random Person, I Forget Who: “Hey, I know you liked Halloween. Did you know they’re doing a remake?”
Me: “Hmm- I’m soured on remakes. Who’s doing it?”
Random Person, I Forget Who: “Rob Zombie.”
Me: “OMG NO! I went to…”
Random Person, I Forget Who: (interrupting) “I know… House of 1,000 Corpses…”
Me: “Yeah… (heavy dramatic sigh and wondering where I could purchase protesting signs) we’ll see.”
Fast forward to the present day.
Boredom prompted me to view Halloween. Rob’s take on Halloween. I sat here skeptical. I sat here HOPING he’d redeem himself in film as I had avoided him completely. Recently I had given Quentin Tarantino a chance to bounce back and wound up rolling my eyes even more. Will Rob find the same fate in my graces?
The story began with Michael Myers as a child. A ten year old boy who had a typical American upbringing. By American I don’t mean suburbia. I mean the harsh reality of a dysfunctional family that we’ve all either experienced or witnessed. It wasn’t your Wonder bread kind of household, rather it was a few rungs away from being a crack house. I’ve known worse, I’ve known better- but as for traumatizing, perhaps to a degree. With Rob Zombie’s life hardships, he could have painted the picture a little more grim. I’m glad he didn’t as it gave the impression that anyone can be set off by life’s unpleasantness and take a nose dive into the darkest sectors of life.
Daeg Faerch plays the young Michael. That child’s present is so haunting and capturing of the character that for a moment I didn’t want the movie to move past his character. Daeg Faerch- a face and name to watch out for. Kind of like a male Dakota Fanning- but less demonic and nightmare inducing.
Once the movie swung full force into the remake of the original, my interest had waned and I was wanting to call it “The End”. It was as if Rob took his original take and decided to just throw in the updated version of the classic. Kind of like watching a good black and white being colorized- but with less appealing cast mates.
Malcolm McDowell did an okay job as Loomis, but not enough in which you escaped into the new face and saw the character continue on. I don’t recall a point in which I wasn’t thinking, “This is Malcolm McDowell trying to play Dr. Loomis.”
Throw all that aside and you’ve got relatively fresh faces acting out the rest of the modernized story.
This new take added a decent 30 minutes to the original screenplay, but watch the first half hour or so and then pop in the classic.
As for Rob, he’s coming around, but I’m still not going to go out of my way to view any new creations.
I give it a C+ over all, two out loud screams and a slight jump.
