When I put up the ninja bling, I became obsessed with the Zombie Survival Guide
I did a walkthrough of my dwelling, and all I can say is- it’s been nice knowing you. My front door is solid metal, which is good. My back door is glass, not good. I have one old dull collectors Knight of the Round Table dagger, one light saber, one TMNT plastic dagger, pots and pans, and a Pirates of the Carribean plastic sword. I do have a gun! Only it’s a plastic cap gun because caps are awesome, but useless in a zombie attack.
 <- Zombie Slaying Inventory |
 My creature of protection is an elusive cat who could probably care less should my brains wind up scooped from my skull. In fact she’d probably lick up the remains.<- Elusive cat. She was there 1 second before I took the picture. |
| Times like these call for creative thinking. That’s when I looked over and saw my copy of Idiocracy! Zombies are idiots! Zombies want brains! Zombies are more than likely easy to fool- so perhaps we can all trick Zombies the Idiocracy way. |
| 1. Brawndo. It’s got electrolytes, which is what plants crave and zombies too- actually I’m not sure about the zombie part, but probably. 2. Maybe put a sign on the door in case you have a literate zombie- “Sorry, out of brains” 3. Turn on the television set. There’s a 98% chance you’ll hit a reality tv show. Should a zombie see you watching any of these “shows”, more than likely they’ll lose interest and move on to t next dwelling. If not, then they’ll probably plop down in front of the set and while they’re entranced, RUN. 4. Try to bash their heads in with an enormous book. After you survive and save mankind, your teachers would be so proud that you own books heavy enough to kill a zombie, they’ll go back and change all of your grades to A+’s and throw out your permanent record. 5. As soon as the uprising starts, turn on your console and pop in a video game (if you ever turned off), they’ll think you’re one of them. |
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| While fire is still not a proven way to kill zombies, I would say nix this idea all together. Just the thought gives me the shivers- is killing an army of zombies worth destroying my entire Buffy collection, my films, my Powerpuff Girl stuff and my computer? I think not. In fact I am willing to sacrifice my cranium to ensure that the Whedon legacy lives on.So if you’re like me and you’ve got an apartment full of geek stuff to defend; glass doors make you vulnerable as well as a lack of weaponry, hope for a vampire uprising instead. I have a ton of art pencils- I can use those! |
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My Vampire Protection |
-Ghic Chic
[tags]zombies, vampires, zombie survival, brawndo, idiocracy[/tags]
