It WILL be a double post once I can log onto AG
Say the person you are in a relationship with wanted to end things. Now take that a little further and say there were two platforms in which they were going to use in order to end it. The first termination means would be via an electronic device (e-mail or text message), the second is a term I coined years ago, via being “poofed”.
Poofed is when the person ceases all contact out of the blue. No communication whatsoever. Poof, they’re gone- like a magic trick.
If you’ve been a part of the dating world since the high tech, high speed age, then more than likely you’ve broken up with someone, or had been broken up with via one of those means.
Neither is pleasant, however, which would be your preferred fate if you had to pick?
I happened across an article in Reuters earlier, “Lovers turn to text message to say it’s over”. I know that my first time entering the dating world after being on a hiatus due to marriage, that the first man I went out with- wound up “poofing” me after seeing each other for about a month. I was shocked, I was hurt, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me! Why would someone do that?? Of course I ran into him months later and we wound up dating off and on for a few years and then becoming friends. It wasn’t me, he was just a jerk (no offense T).
Poofing happened once more after that and again my heart was torn out. This relationship thrived for about three months and then POOF. Yet again I saw him months later and we continued to see each other again (dear lord I apparently have no self respect), until he moved back East.
With my poofers, each time there had been a tragedy on their end, so in a way I could understand why a new person in their life could be so disposable. No, it wasn’t cool to be treated as such and that’s a horrible thing to do to ANYONE. I thought that, and then a couple of times I found myself doing the same to a couple of others. MINE happened to be men I had seen only once or twice, I didn’t think there were obligations to end things that didn’t even start, but the more I thought about it- SHAME ON ME! Everyone deserves an honorable discharge.
All those scenarios are cold, unfeeling and plain cruel. Granted that with an e-mail or letter, if you have a soul, you write it out hoping to get all you need to say out there. You can construct your thoughts and avoid changing your mind due to the look in their eyes or feeling compassion for them. Sometimes there is a need to break up with someone, and it’s not always mean. Text and poofing- if there is a hell, texters and poofers are definitely going to occupy that space.
No on to e-mail and texting. I recall back in my youth, I would break up via hand written letters. Dear John letters. I had opted for this after a horrible confontational break up in which I really did care for the person, however I just knew it was over. It was messy, it was horrible, he almost ran over a one legged man as we drove through the city en route home… For the sake and safety of pedestrians everywhere, I did not ever want to put anyone in harms way again. I called my Dear John letters a public service.
In our modern age where people sometimes meet in cyberspace, it takes away the intitial humanity that’s needed to get to know someone. Perhaps we’re jaded, disconnected and we forget that on the other end of the font, someone is sitting there reading the stinging words and feeling their world crumble around them. IF you are going to be a coward and put someone through that, don’t be a text/poofer- at least allow the person to have their say. Brave the music and give them the gift of closure.
Lovers turn to text message to say it’s over
LONDON (Reuters) – U R dumped — one in seven say they have suffered the same fate as Britney Spears’ ex-husband and been told it’s all over via text message or email, a survey said on Friday.
While hiding behind technology might appear a cowardly way of splitting up, it contrasts with the four percent who simply drop all communication with their lovers without notice.
“Most of us send emails and texts everyday, so it comes as no surprise they are now being used to ditch someone — however distasteful this is,” said Rob Barnes from moneysupermarket.com, which carried out the survey.
“The results show one per cent of the population would use a social networking site to dump a partner. It would be interesting to see how this changes as sites such as Facebook and MySpace become more apparent in our everyday lives.”
One of the most high-profile victims of dumping by text was Kevin Federline, who reportedly received news that pop singer Spears was filing for divorce while being filmed for a television show.
The survey said 15 percent of the 2,194 people questioned had been dumped by text or email, although a quarter of those in the most tech-savvy 18 to 24-year-old age group would choose the traditional method — a letter.
(Reporting by Michael Holden)
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busy
