By Dawn Masuoka
One of the things I dislike about being single around the holidays is the long lonely evening that follows an event. Everything starts a little later for those not coupled and it ends rather early. My folks came down to visit and we went to a buffet.
A buffet place in Salem Oregon is much like going into a soup kitchen on a holiday. Not to sound snobbish, but I think I need about twelve shots as omg obviously it wasn’t bath or shower day for most of this city. (shiver) Although walking inside the restaurant felt nice initially due to the escape from the late autumn cold, all I could think about was germ manifestation in the warmth of the closed in environment.
It was too crowded, too loud and I wound up glaring at my surroundings. Jonathon shot me a look and scolded, “Behave.” Ugh. I didn’t want to. I wanted to have lived in a house with a dining room and dining room table in which eating out when a group of people come to visit isn’t required.
I behaved. The food was moderately edible (I had nacho’s and a lot of starch), the conversation was amusing- talking about my J-Pop sensation dreams that WILL happen, me wanting to move to the East Coast in which they changed that topic… and I took it back a few times… film, and of course… me being single. I told them “Do you know what it’s like to date over 30? There are REASONS these men were thrown away (no offense). I said that it wasn’t matter of finding someone, it was a matter of finding a reliable partner who had something INTERESTING to say as everyone was a copy/paste version of the last. I said it was their duty to marry me as if a woman shows she cannot find a decent partner by the age of xx then it is up to the parents to take over in the part where the child has obviously failed. I asked if there was any Hindu in our blood line and sadly I think that’s the only blood line we aren’t connected to.
My mother thought about it and as my dad said, “There’s lots of men who are interesting in Olympia!” My mother looked at him like he was an idiot, ”Interesting Arnold. They have to be interesting.” He said, “I know some… and they’re single.” My mother laughed, “WHO!?!” He answered again, “Um you don’t know them.” (obviously he was lying and trying to get me to move up there.) I whispered to my mother, “And they all hang out at the YMCA probably.” She snickered and my parents remained a little dumbfounded at the thought of an interesting man who was single, over 30, in Washington. My father had to bring up, “Well you wouldn’t have to worry about any of them cutting off your linen tags as… well… you don’t have any!! (ha ha ha) or moving around your furniture (ha ha ha)” Yeah, he threw the psycho references in a few times over the evening in which I asked him, “So on your way up, or as you sat quietly this evening, were trying to figure out opportune moments in order to throw those into the conversation? If so, it’s NOT funny” I also got to rub into my younger brothers face how we were going to Comic Con in April. (sigh) I love watching that boy stumble for words and beg and then see him drown in jealousy. He wants to send me a ton of first editions before Jonathon and I go so I can get them autographed. We’ll see little Ben… we’ll see.
Well after spending a couple of hours with them and then everyone heading their merry way back North, I came home, put Jonathon to bed and I’m watching “Hard Candy” again – but with commentary to answer some of the unanswered question that this film placed in my head. So if anyone rents it, I suggest you watch the movie, and then the commentary.
So a holiday ends much like it began, doing a lot of nothing.
Current Mood:
bored